@ReelMissing: If it was a professional hit, he'd be swimmin' with the fishes.

@Lionel Osbourne:

Dolphins Scour Field For $50,000 Earring

@Ovechkin_from_Backstrom:

What appetizer tastes worse when made at home between mozzarella sticks or potato skins

@Señor Flandangles: Similarly, I'm left flaccid with excitement for the pennant race.

Not a typo. It accurately describes what the Cards could give right now about making the playoffs, by the way they're playing.

I got a heated Florio, now my toes stay toastio when I drop my Cheerios.

and you stand accused of violently assaulting your girlfriend, you're SOL.

"I guess he's pretty good, but he's been stuck in Tampa Bay...

If a Shapiro wrote the Book of Revelations, there is a bigger Ponzi scheme that the Herald might want to, uh, herald.

Nice foosball trophy, Zinger.

@vodkanaut: So what? It's not looking like La Russa will have anything to do leading up to the first Tuesday in November, anyway.

@UkraineNotWeak: ...and a deer cried.

At this point as a Cardinals fan, I'm 100% behind Glen Beck's movement to restore the power of Whitey.

Throwgasms

@VTBen: He's lurking.

@vodkanaut: Pravda's already beating the drum (slowly).

@vodkanaut: Beware the black helicopters.

The Georgia team looks good in the early going, but is worried about being burned out by the finals.