Being a plus sized lady occasionally has advantages. I own about ten pairs of "relaxed stretch twill pants" from the unfortunately named "Making it Big" catalogue. They are spendy but great pants (that come in three inseam lengths!) and they have enormous side seam pockets, big enough to hold your phone, keys, lip…

Yes, you can. Just put on a nice outfit and take a couple of your friends and go to the courthouse and send everybody an email afterward. That's what Mr. Hon and I did and we are very happy.

Shit, all this time I thought I was female because I have boobs and a vagina. But I'm sitting here watching Game 4 of Washington - San Francisco in the NLDS and so I guess I've been delusional.

If he played for the Texas Rangers nobody would ever have heard of him.

A few years ago I ordered biscuits and sausage gravy for brunch at a hipster restaurant here in Portland. When it came it was full of diced bell peppers, which I'm allergic to. I asked the waitress about sending it back and she told me I should have the vegan version instead, made with mushroom gravy. I guess I looked…

I'm a Ravens fan and I own a Rice jersey. I wore it watching the Ravens win the Super Bowl two years ago.

Prediction: Goodell resigns and Condi Rice steps in to save the day as the new NFL Commissioner. You heard it here first.

God, I hope he wasn't "inspired" by Christian Grey's contract. He said he was a "Christian," after all.

Do not be disrespecting baseball, Lindy West.

Wombat.

This might be the greatest thing I've ever read on Deadspin.

I took Anatabloc for awhile for my shoulder trouble. It did seem to help a little. But finally I just decided to start doing strength training to take the stress off the joints, and that works better.

I have a square tin with Charles and Diana's pictures on it. It used to have tea in it. I brewed and drank the tea. If I'd only known.

Best comment ever: THE AUDACITY OF TAUPE

Does that t-shirt say PINK CUM?

Well, in fairness, rice cooked with chicken stock is delicious.

I once asked my guy what a boner felt like. He thought for a moment and said, "it craves attention."

They battled an evil homeowners' association? not being smarts, I never saw the show.

It is from The World According to Garp, a memorial service for Garp's mother Jenny Fields. Men were not allowed to attend, so Garp dressed as a woman and attended with his transwoman friend Roberta Muldoon (Lithgow).