+1,000,000!! Fucking Priceless!!

I had a pocket Swiss Army Knife that had a blade perfect for exactly this. It was great because the blade was small, pointy, smooth, and always deliciously orange scented. That was in college. I don't know why exactly, but I suddenly stopped caring and started eating the white stuff. I think that change came around…

The magic lies in the fact that once you've removed all the bits that are too big, those that were previously deemed acceptable start looking way too big. This continues until the orange is perfectly peeled. It really is a great way to spend one's afternoon.

You make a good point here regarding the unqualified work. It's also important to understand that many jobs that are considered doable by the unqualified in the States actually require a tech education in Europe. Many positions that people tend to consider as temporary, dead-end, etc. over here may well either have…

Also, "VMUZL" is unpronounceable. It is fun to try though!

I can't stop making jokes about the Giants. I'm a Steelers fan and they're all I've got left separating me from the very bottom!

I think I'd actually have more respect for Siri if her response to this is just building raucous laughter...

I would guess it is mostly dehydration and, ahem, cleaning out. That's the easiest way for the body to quickly and temporarily get rid of weight. Body builders do similar stuff before competition because you get more definition when you're dehydrated. Most of those hulking muscle balls are actually super weak when…

Erroneous, that's not the door locking system! It's the buttplug anti-theft system!

I was flying into Philadelphia recently and while waiting in line at passport control a family decided that rather than drop out of the line to look for a bathroom for their little girl, they'd set up their portable kiddie potty right then and there in line. It was rather unreal. In their defense, they were European.

This reminds me of a friend who would always blow our minds. His morning commute would take the more reasonable drivers about 45 minutes. He would always accomplish it in far less, while dressing, eating, pruning, brushing teeth, and anything else his morning called for. It was impressive but truly scary considering…

Not quite, she's slack-lining. The rope isn't tight.

Uhm, wow, so that's what the conservatives are always talking about when they say that gay marriage will lead to bestiality? Doggy style?

Somebody please help me out! I'm trying to remember the name of this turd of a car movie I watched on Netflix once. It's a British movie all about some kid who works in a garage and wants to get into street racing. There's a whole cultish thing about these "perfect circle" donuts showing up everywhere as some mark of…

This game was awful. I was hoping for a flying Polamalu gif though!

Actually, I know a guy whose favorite hobby is getting a BMW from Zipcar at all hours of the morning and racing it around Manhattan. He is Turkish and justifies his actions with the maxim, "if the cops can't catch you right away, they'll give up and let you go." After some explanation that this is not true of police…

Apparently, this is what it looks like when they switch on the A/C in Cuba...

This exactly! It's a giant mass damper. You steer, the bottom of the truck moves in one direction, the top tilts in another, the back kinda stays centered. In the end, unless you feel like flipping over, your only option is to counter-steer and keep going straight. Sorry, the cargo decided it didn't want to go where…

Heck, I drove across a few states in a big moving truck and have about a million stories from that single trip. Somehow leaving a following distance in which I knew I could stop the truck was translated as, "please fill this ample space in front of me with your car or truck while you cram on the brakes to make your…

No problem! It was a heck of a lot easier than trying to make a pun out of Sézkesfehérvár.