The Higgs boson will be upset that it's been found, and in revenge it will gather on the MacBook Pro and make it weigh 3,000kg. If you listen closely, you'll hear the particles whispering, "MacBook Air my ass!"

America, fuck yeah?

God is the particle that gives things mass? I think Snorlax might hate God right now...

Funnily enough, CERN is not in America :P .

Why? How would that help anything? Bulbs don't burn out because of deformation, they do so because they literally evaporate from the heat. How would stretching help that?

It's an elastic polymer. Elastic means exactly that: once deformed, it has a tendency to return to its previous shape.

AC adapters, especially for my laptop. I have a tendency to keep my laptop plugged in all the time when it's at home, simply so I don't have to bother running to get the cord when the battery's low. This sometimes causes some awkward positions when I have it at the end of its cord and I'm trying to turn it. If it…

Well, never content, at least. And often sad.

Right. Because the existence of gay people means that all humans are becoming gay. Just like the existence of black people means that all people are black, and the existence of stupid people means that all people are stupid. Hey, guess what? You're stupid, and you exist, so I guess everyone is stupid, too!

I'm rarely offline anyway, so...I can't say anything about this.

It throw up random responses...exactly like the real Magic 8-Ball :P .

First we find the particle. Then we study the particle. Then we manipulate the particle. Just like we did with electrons and electricity. And think about what manipulating the mass-inducing Higgs boson would do...inertial dampeners anyone?

"But, sir, there are no A-Rabs on this flight. I made sure of it when we boarded."

I would not. In addition, if I did, mine would be consistently floppy. Inb4 "That's what she said".

I wear a watch simply because it's more convenient. I look at the time often, and the few seconds I save by turning my wrist (rather than pulling my phone out of my pocket, pressing a button to turn the screen on, then putting it back) add up over time.

This is really cool! 15 to 30 minutes? So imagine injecting yourself with this before going underwater. "I can hold my breath for 15 minutes!" :D I wonder how far they can push the oxygen density of these things. Maybe get it up to an hour? Two? A day?

Congratulations on your trolling. Now get out.

Because theoretical physics. We can understand the properties of materials enough to calculate its melting point, and then we just make something that has a high enough melting point to withstand something like the experiment it will contain.

It's...interesting. I think it looks better, definitely, but it's functionally awkward. It's fine if you want to jump to one conversation and read it straight; in fact, it's great for that! But many times I want to just skim around and see all the replies to an article, and that doesn't seem possible with the new…

When you said "8-bit word", did you perhaps mean 8 BYTE word? 8 bits is a single byte, and there's no way to fit a URL in a single byte.