Comedic gold in the first video. Hope those guys were there all night.

Will they still allow Riley Coopering or does that fall under verbal taunting?

"So we don’t know what that timetable is going to be, this is new territory for us all. Mwaka is getting used to the wheelchair and his new handicap accessible pad up on Nairobi's north side. And I finally had a to build a new place in Germany so that I could get follow up treatment on the new Achilles, since Dr.…

Oh god no don't make me look that... don't tell me that Sanchez... my stomach is upset... it's true... I took it even further and looked up Christian Ponder's numbers. Gag reflex causing watering. Chad Henne? Noooo... Swallowed it with a few chunks. T-Jack? Got some on my shirt. Matt Moore. Hiccup, eyes watering. …

Not sure why it reminds me of this...

You made me look it up. Yep. Career losing record, 50% completions, 65 QB rating, led the league in passing yard twice - touchdowns once - interceptions 4 times.

Normally he just rolls up the sleeves on his blue collar flannel and gets to work. Unfortunately he decided to cut off the sleeves on his red collar flannel for the Chesney concert, but he forgot to let his hair down and that ultimately got him in trouble.

After you pay for your stadium and expenses, pay the coaches top dollar, pay the players their scholarships, pay for the Title IX programs, built a building or two on campus and you are sitting there with an extra 70-80 million above your general slush fund, why not? Otherwise someone might suggest that you start…

We all knew about that nagging hip last year (along with the ankle) which is why Percy stayed off the field. We knew that we weren't going to pay him, so it was best for him to keep his mouth shut and we would find a sucker to pay him and over pay us. Thankfully the Seahawks were still bitter about us snagging Hutch…

Entitled from the start and it will never stop until he has nothing... if that ever happens.

I hate it when they edit the answer. This is the full quote: "Man. I better go late. I’m already getting too far in front of myself. I’ll say Week 16. There it is. Week 16 in 2017. Whoo. That’s pushing it, huh? But hey, pushing it is the only way to do it. You know it... as long as Christian is behind center."

Dude, I completely empathize. I have a very similar shit story that ends with "I have never entered that gas station again", but yours happened during Christmas Eve services in a church, so you now have the best shit story I know of... you are the King Shit.

"I know a guy." - Carlos Ortiz

No. This crap happens every day in every city. Go take a look at your local police report for all of the domestic abuse cases. It is just the "elite" athletes that make it into a news story that in turn gets parlayed into national news by Deadspin and other news outlets. Some statistics from 2011 show that the…

yes

If you read the police report that the Gainsville police put out, it looks pretty ugly: http://www.gainesvillepd.org/Portals/2/PIO/…

One of the few people who made financial gains off of Bernie Madoff: http://www.celebritynetworth.com/articles/enter…

Not as much as "Chief" Stephen Dallas Dodson. Just go with it, there has to be much more to come.

Ha! Now you have "naturally-forming congealed jelly" tickling my epiglottis. Yes it was the casing style that my grandfather conned me into trying as a kid. I did try a pudding style last year, but it was probably at least half sausage and loaded with garlic and other spices. It reminded me of meat pie flavored snot.…

Blood sausage. Think of the word coagulated drowning in the back of your throat as it hemorrhages from the "g".