Tina Fey never impersonated a politician.

I lost it at, “I’ve got some chicken that’ll do” and “I can find the goose! I’ve found geese before, and I can find them again! They congregate near ponds!”

“I felt violated, and my body said wait a minute, this ain’t right. So I was uneasy.”

There’s nothing you can do!

Good for her. There's no reason for her to take that shit.

It’s...not a thing. The subculture of people who are “poly” and “chill” doing heroin casually with people they meet online is exceedingly small. Please don’t do this again. I don’t even know you and I care about you more than a bored poly housewife who’d give an inexperienced stranger heroin.

I knew people who tried heroin in the nineties. Some people tried it once. Some people fell down a hole into complete self destruction and have never really recovered.

Please don't continue using heroin, no matter what the lives of other users may look like. It will ruin you and destroy your family and everything you care about, if you survive at all. Good people don't encourage others to use heroin. Please stop using now, before it gets worse.

I don’t think you understand the context. It’s “I support X, but something that contradicts me supporting X.” We aren’t condemning the conjunction “but.”

You don’t spend very much time thinking, do you?

“I believe in equality and all those things, but....”

They can keep their penises to themselves. That would be grand.

Truth. We’re taught from birth to be polite, no matter what. First thing that sprung to mind:

Just watched this last night...still recovering from the moment she gets the phone call from the fertility Dr. :-(

No, but your original statement didn’t differentiate between a tattoo containing those words and a tattoo that doesn’t. Your original statement was that tattoos in general will keep a person from having a good job.

Shiiiit, I better tell my boss! And here I was pulling down six figures in a corporate environment without ever realizing I didn’t actually have a good job because good jobs require you to cover your tattoos.

Can we just shut this shit down right now? I have full sleeves and have never once had a problem wearing short sleeves at my jobs. I have a good career AND TATTOOS. The world is changing, my friends.

You know this isn’t the case anymore, right? Might still be the case in some conservative fields/cities, but tattoos in the workplace are pretty normal now.

Oof. You didn't read it, did you?