kill yourself

don't worry - looks like that 2 can be pretty easily change into a 3.

Kid Icarus is just insanely difficult. They even have the crazy long passwords to save your progress, and I've still never beaten it.

I had sex while wearing a Power Glove not that long ago. It's maybe the most impressive thing that I've ever accomplished in my whole entire life.

Forget it, he's rolling.

Do they even sell Zima in the States anymore?

In response, the father said: "You were not created for that... You will have your right while you work and earn money."

a kick in the nuts

I don't get it. What's a Roshambo?

because he's fat lol

Ref- Male or Female?

KICK. DIE. REPEAT.

Pictured: Reenactment of the first time I had sex.

Pretty awesome of FIFA to pick someone who built the stadium to do the first kick.

Alright, bro — You Win. I know when I'm beat. Good match.

Just rhyming a bunch of words together in a creative way means zero if it's one random half thought after another

Wow, you guys at Deadspin still listen to rap?...That's cool...I guess.

You forgot pine tar

Jerk off oils, ranked.