Set the pommel horse atop an active volcano.

I haven’t seen such abuse of an unfair advantage since my high school wrestling opponent found out I was super ticklish.

Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you.

Wow... Ariel goes on his show for 2 hours (when he would normally do 4 and have multiple guests), went out of his way to tell his entire side of the story while admitting he did something he wasn’t comfortable with and had reservations about (getting in bed with Zuffa), elaborated on why he did that, talks about…

Were you the guy standing behind me at the DMV today? Longest 10 minute wait of my life.

This happened because he took his manager’s advice.

And here I thought K-Pop could never get you to second base.

John Kasich is that guy one step above you on the corporate ladder who seems like a good mentor so you go out for drinks with him one day after work and he lays out his theory on ‘the blacks’ until you pretend your wife just called with a baby emergency.

The Brewers haven’t been around for 93 years. This lady’s so full of shit.

Don’t mind if I ThiboDO! Have sex with him, I mean.

[stacks cups]

Interesting that when white guys stack cups we call them athletes, but when black guys stack cups we call them dishwashers at Chili’s.

Well, at least the posts are about sports now.

And we are already off to a FLYING start.

“Chop blocks illegal? Whew, I thought they said pork chops." — Andy Reid

NCAA Tournament Bracket reeks!

I don’t even care if they play a shit team like the Sixers

I want the Wolves to start winning so badly. Such a great roster of young talent.

Holy crap, is that picture really at an NBA game?! I've seen more people at a Carly Fiorina campaign stop than that!