Finding anything below top flight for any European league is difficult (unless the match involves a popular team), finding anything below that is like hunting unicorns.

I wanted to experience a football match on our second trip to Germany. The best option was Fortuna Düsseldorf, who at the time was in the second league. It was fun, and I’m glad they’ll stick around in top flight for at least one more year because it’s easier to follow them. They don’t have an English language…

The camera starts shaking from the madness right after that ball hits net.

John Stamos has come to Lori Loughlin’s defense, asking the prosecutor in the case to “Have mercy!”

As a relatively new dad, weekend warrior, casual fan of the Premier League without a rooting interest, not aware enough of the team on social media, more likely to have time to watch a full match Saturday night rather than morning, enjoys the flexibility of fast forward, and has spent $5 a month on stupider things,…

Personally I’m waiting for the team/city that has the cajones to do ”VfB [Insert City Here].”

Worst VFX since Superman's mustache.

I doff my hat to you, sir.

I have no stake in this game. I didn’t watch it. I don’t think anything of Nick Foles. But I don’t pass up a punning opportunity when I see one. 

Big Pick Nick.

This makes a lot of sense. Grandal was a major contributor to the Brewers’ offense in the NLCS.

So Papa is like Papa John's, and Papa John's is like my lower intestines.

Call me a bastard, because I helped get the white Walker out if the North.

Fuck Manny Machado.

Sorry to hear this, he’s been one of the Brewers' best players in this series.

T. Rex probably wasn't the best choice for that.

It’s the same face my 4-month-old makes when he’s shitting his diaper.

1 if by run, pick 6 if by air.

Today I started my month-long paternity leave. Bundesliga starts today, Vuelta a Espana tomorrow. Sometimes being a dad is awesome.

In 2008 I had a partial season ticket package for the Brewers. I gave my pair of tickets to the last game of the season to my cousin for his birthday with the logic that the team either would have clinched the playoffs already or be so far out of it that it wouldn’t be any fun to attend.