Well, this will help as well. I just wish these two young dancers were on hand to entertain the folks in line.

Ground control to Major Tom — why haven't you written anything about the abuse of monkeys in space exploration? Is it because you hate monkeys? Please answer

Roger Goodell has worked in the NFL New York office for more than two decades. He's a huge corporate whore who earns millions from NFL owners to do his job and from his employers' point of view he's done a fantastic job.

I caught the tail end of an interview Rome conducted with Dr. Harry Edwards dealing with the issue and he said one of the worst things the NFL can do going forwards is to immediately cut a player who is charged with DV. Edwards said that losing his job and paycheck only exacerbates an already terrible situation and…

Awww, he received death threats? You know who's dead? Michael Brown. I bet he didn't even get the privilege of a death threat before he was shot down in the street by yet another poorly trained asshole with a badge, a gun and the entire legal system behind him.

See? I told you that poor woman needs some pants and no one listened to me. She needs a pantaloons intervention.

Too bad that mob is horribly outnumbered by the fucksticks who believe that hitting a child as a form of discipline is peachy-keen.

But ... but ... bbbbbut their little brown fingers are so smaaaaaallllll and so deft and they are always hungry and need food so they'll work for peanuts, literally.

Sweet Jesus raping an orphan in an Irish workhouse, when the fucking Catholic church has turned its back on you for horrible treatment of children you know you have fucked up.

I'm gonna beat your ass with a broom handle. You tell me when it crosses the line from educating and teaching your dumb ass into abuse of a mentally deficient fuckwit. From there we'll allow you to discuss what is child abuse and what is not. Deal?

Yes, please STFU so that the asshole who hits defenseless children can wax poetic about hitting a child, who, if they hit you back, will get a real whoopin' because daddy aint gonna stand for no disrespect like that.

Also remember that hiring the commissioner of the NFL is a private decision among 32 owners. The NFL commissioner is not up for public office and we don't get to cast a ballot in favor of one candidate over another and the commissioner works as the public face for the owners.

People have made the point as clear as they can make it and you and other outrage-queens refuse to understand. The CBS pre-game show focused on the shitty manner in which the NFL had handled the domestic violence incident committed by Ray Rice. They didn't have music, they didn't have graphics, they discussed the…

Why can't I slap you across the face when I think you're misbehaving? You just stated that hitting a 4-year old child is OK, but if I hit an adult who is acting like an ass I get arrested. Please explain the fucking difference.

So you agree that if I see you or another adult acting like a complete ass in public that it's not OK for me to slap you? Glad we agree, now how the fuck do you explain a grown-ass adult beating a 4-year old child? You seem to think it's some form of parental right when we all know it's a sign of a shitty, shitty,…

My bet is getting whipped with a switch left serious lacerations on the child. Anyone who hits their child deserves not only a beating but also to be charged for child abuse. You have no fucking right to hit anyone particularly someone you took part in bringing into the world.

Well, normally you get arrested for hitting an adult, Ray Rice will tell you different.

Your parents were shitty, shitty people and judging from your comments you're even shittier so you all have that going for you.

Wow, you win the reverse racism merit badge for Friday. I hope your next investigation into Deadspin reveals how they only give over-the-top coverage to leagues dominated by nig ... ahem .. African Americans like the NFL and the NBA.

That means the International Olympic Committee is still available and I call dibs!