I think that's the definition of a sociopath

So...any of the above (except the cat and the naughty bits) can give to charity that don’t directly do something for them. And many do. There’s this thing called empathy that many humans possess. The cynical idea that all human acts are transactional is, as Trump would say, sad. Often, the feeling of having done…

“The people who watch the Olympics are not particularly sports fans. More women watch the games than men, and for the women, they’re less interested in the result and more interested in the journey. It’s sort of like the ultimate reality show and mini-series wrapped into one.”

I always reassure myself by thinking “No one is even paying attention to you. No one cares what you look like.” Then I see something like this.

My next recommended article after clicking this link was a recipe for buttered toast for the NY Times. Buttered. Toast.

I hate canned peas so much. They are so vile that they’ve ruined all green peas for me, probably forever.

BUT, HOW DO I OPEN THE CAN!?! THE RECIPE DOESN’T HAVE INSTRUCTIONS!

You all think this is a new phenomenon with the internet and all, but my library has a metric ton of old church cookbooks and some of the stuff in there is just as blindingly obvious. I’m willing to bet I can find a recipe for peanut butter and jelly somewhere in our collection of actual printed books that adults paid…

My next door neighbor invented Cap’n Crunch. I am totally not kidding. He and his wife moved in a month or so ago, and at the welcome to the neighborhood gathering, his wife needled him until he admitted it, and I said, “So, in other words, you’re my hero.” He thought I was joking.

My mother. Who uses a STICK of butter to saute a pound of mushrooms. And doesn’t understand why this is a wildly inappropriate amount of butter.

Canned peas? Who the fuck needs a recipe to warm up canned peas?! And what is with the photo? That “sauce” is revolting. Not even a half stick of butter would make that much sauce.

I’m not at all sure what that photo above the recipe is supposed to be, but it’s pretty obviously not just peas and melted butter.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook has two pages (including a large picture) devoted to a recipe for “One Perfect Roast Sweet Potato.” The recipe consists of: Preheat oven. Insert single sweet potato. Remove 45 minutes later.

Thanks! This is great. I was trying not to eat, today, and this was exactly the motivation I needed.

I did the Cap’n Crunch photo shoot at a southern plantation, but please don’t yell at me about it because I totally have black friends....

And who the hell eats disgusting canned peas in this day and age? Why would you do that when frozen peas exist?

Also delightful: toast with butter and honey.

As a Jew, I cannot condone such an abomination. Bagels are for cream cheese.

I once went to this crazy fancy restaurant when I felt like blowing a bunch of cash with my husband. One of the desserts (there were three of them in the 13 courses) was Froot Loops and milk. But somehow the chef made a ball of Froot Loops and white chocolate that was hollow and filled with the milk. So you pop it in…