What superpowers did he get?

Yes, it’s from Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, one of my favorite book series as a kid. (Piggly Wiggly is a supermarket chain.) Anyway, I have no problem with occasionally being mistaken for a dude. I just thought you were being a little condescending to me, that’s all.

It’s cool. I was very easily spooked as a kid. My mom took my sister and me to see Coma when I was 9 (WTF, Mom?), and I had to sit in the lobby for about 2/3 of the movie. Even then, I had nightmares for MONTHS. But even simple things, like TV ads for scary movies scared the crap out of me. I remember having to leave…

I’m a girl, and not the only one who missed the joke, but carry on.

OK, my mind did not go Godwin, like, at all, but I don’t get the joke, either.

Thanks a lot, deelady. It took me THIRTY-FIVE YEARS to forget that story. And I’m all out of Ambien, dammit.

Yup.

What the ever-loving fuck is this abomination? Christ in a sidecar, that’s tacky.

If either of my kids, son or daughter, did this, that reporter would be the last person they saw outside of home and school for a long, long time. I would be so embarrassed to realized I’d inadvertently raised an asshole.

We don’t want him, either. Maybe we could send him on the first manned flight to Mars?

I didn’t realize he was a Huckabee.

I’ve said the same thing to my husband, for the same reason.

Underneath the stripes....

They’re made from the skirts of the Duggar girls.

That hadn’t even occurred to me. Oh, irony!

Is anyone else reminded of this?

If it weren’t for Friends and The Simpsons, I think I’d have about 75% less to say most days.

If I ever decide to practice again, I’m putting this on my business cards.

Oh my God, I just did this to my kids today!