Punishing your kid isn't supposed to be fun. It's supposed to teach her to modify her behavior. All Oliver has done here is teach his daughter that he's an untrustworthy douche.

There was a time (I think around 20-24 months) when my daughter was developmentally very similar to my sister's dog, except for the fact that my daughter could talk. I never really took offense at the comparisons. I think as long as the person doing the comparing likes kids and the parent has a sense of humor,…

I used to live in the Tenderloin. It is a scary neighborhood, but I never feared for my life there. Maybe I should have? I wish Mr. Schwartz a speedy recovery, and I hope they catch the subhuman who did this.

I am morbidly obsessed with stories like this, as well as the Coconut Grove Fire, the Iroquois Theater, and the General Slocum, among others. I'm kind of a tragedy addict.

I've always loved that picture. Also, I love you for spelling "Allyson" correctly.

Thank you for the Hitchhiker's guide reference!

Well, for starters, you can't eat dolphin instead of eating "another type of fish", because dolphins aren't fish; they're mammals.

I live in Westchester, and when my son was in preschool, I overheard the dad of the birthday girl commenting on the $6k he'd spent on her party. For her 3rd birthday. There were 2 bouncy houses, a cotton candy machine, a hotdog cart, an airbrush tattoo artist, face painting, a popcorn cart, and some other stuff I'm…

Yeah, but it was her own butt. And it was not accompanied by a photo.

Rylanton keeps you regular! No, wait, that's not it....

Crying now. I wish everything on the internet were that awesome.

Per Strunk and White: "Do not say you are nauseous unless you are sure that you have that effect on people."

Fair enough.

I also have a problem with the word "unacceptable" in his text. Taken along with everything else, it really makes it sound like he is a controlling douchecanoe who finds multiple sex partners unacceptable in a lady. I agree with you about that 23-year-old, though— he doesn't sound like the kind of guy you build your…

He thinks he broke up with her. It sounds like maybe she never thought it was a relationship to begin with.

There's a huge difference, though, between 100+ and "anything over 3".

The FB one seems especially middle school to me. I don't think I've ever checked my husband's relationship status on FB. Maybe I should, just in case it says "single" or "in an open relationship" or something.

Wow. I don't really like cats very much, and I'm very allergic, but I can't imagine making that kind of demand of my husband.

I'm not even sure of #3, given what a wacko this guy seems to be. Mean to his cat? Definitely not cool. But what constitutes "rude" according to him? Not calling her by her full name, Madam Fuzzy Van Whiskerpants? Refusing to stand when she enters the room? Neglecting to include her in dinner table conversations?

Christ on a bike!