Wow, 1989 Celine was so damn cute! Pale skin, big eyebrows, frizzy hair, blue blazer and all. She looks like your best friend in high school who’s quiet and nerdy and straight laced who you know is probably heading to Yale med gets up on stage for karaoke and fuckin NAILS IT TO THE WALL HOLY SHIT BETHANY WHERE DID YOU…

Sounds like she was just hired to be some kind of personal secretary / executive assistant but they gave her the title of Someone You Would Find On A Presidential Campaign Staff.

His family is ruined financially and they’re asking for money to cover their attorneys, he can’t do what he loves anymore, he got expelled from college, everyone knows him as a rapist.

That so many geeks can’t even seem to get THAT far, just admiring someone from afar based on looks and assumptions alone, is so sad. Yeah, folks, common interests are just the starting point, and expect to be flexible on those, too. Will LoL still be around in 10, 20, 30 years?

The only thing a dick pic is good for is seeing their photography skills and the state of their clothes and floors. And I guess checking for open sores? But theoretical anyway because I’d never fuck a guy that sent an unsolicited dick pic.

Thanks for the great article!

All it’s missing is a Muppet Movie paint job and a few Goddess bumper stickers and you’ll have the right of way for the rest of the car’s life. Beep beep!

Hell, I know essentially nothing about cars (I’m just here for the Doug articles and the jokes about BMW owners), but I’d like to think that I could work at an AZ - just give the customer the catalog to flip through until they find the part number they need, or fill in as many entries as they know, then see what the…

My body, my choice.

I’m shocked this is still a thing in New York! I tended bar down in Maryland like ten years ago and the liquor training explicitly mentioned that there are no laws or liabilities for serving alcohol to a pregnant woman. True, there weren't protections like this either, but it just follows from Our Body, Our Choice

we’ve gotta burn this mother down, Angie

3) is my scenario. Owner who doesn’t seem to want to be a boss, just wants to golf and relive his frat days. Wants me to sell him on my ideas, but doesn’t want to listen to more than a sound byte. What should I say?

I write emails exactly like Angela’s all the time, force of habit and conscience. But I think you’re really on to something here. So, what would you recommend?

“I actually never learned how to read. I just learned to write this half-sentence visually. -d”

I’m crying at work. How did we all get here?

He seems alright, you laugh at some of his jokes and kind of forget about him until he brings the wife and kids in one day and they look like scared, sick feeder mice and you try to give the youngest daughter a Werther’s and she asks if she can live with you and he screams at her and tries to spank her, like, right…

I’ve worked and lived with mostly women my entire life, and after so many birth stories I’ve found this to be true. It’s not like your wedding day. You can try to prepare things you think will help, or think you’ll want, but be prepared to throw it all out the window to keep you and your baby alive, even if this isn’t…

Which leads to the next question: if bitches don’t appreciate his current gestures, and if bitches are dumb and easy to manipulate, and if his genes possess some rare brilliance worthy of enshrinement, why can’t he figure out how to manipulate these dumb bitches better?

“Couldn’t be nice to women, even to save his own lineage” The bell, it tolls for thee.