And if it’s only 2" long and small enough to tote around in a little box, wrapped in tissue, why not just dig up a little patch of dirt in a park or cemetery with a spoon or a rock and bury it yourself? That said, sounds like this woman’s been through a lot and I can’t blame her for not thinking clearly.

I mean, if he were that torn up, he could always go the way of Boehner and peace out, middle fingers in the air like he just don’t care.

Portal prepared me for the corporate world.

Aren’t these the same assholes railing against “safe spaces” on college campuses? Just, ugh, fuck them.

Not to mention how they seem to believe only little girls are vulnerable prey. Their young sons have been peeing next to pedophiles for decades, often without any ACTUAL barrier between them.

If I recall, Jane Goodall herself was once dragged through the jungle and up a hill by a male gorilla who decided she was a member of the troop to pick on. Like junior high with the minds of toddlers and the bodies of power lifters. Brrr.

But those email forwards and shit their pastor half-remembered and repeated when he got carried away one Sunday are highly regarded info sources!

Well that's just the kind of poetic "aw shucks" death they'd like women to have. She died so young and beautiful, like all them folk songs. Sigh. Welp! Time to find a new wife to raise our youngins!

Dude, 84 grams of protein is like... 400 almonds. That’s a pretty intense breakfast.

Must be *this* feminine to pee here.

Those goddamn A pillars man. Exactly the width of a pedestrian in a crosswalk. I wouldn't be surprised if more people die from that than roll overs.

“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and…

Some goddamn mom shorts action right there. One periwinkle item away from a gardening catalog.

Our last fight was a tense, passive aggressive stand off in an Ikea. I wanted white dishes because all other dishes are gimmicky bullshit that you’re sick of in 2 months and you feel like an asshole with zebra print dishes or whatever. He wanted non-white dishes because I guess he wanted a little gimmicky bullshit in…

Lil guy was put right into foster care. Mom’s awaiting trial and Dad’s doing a dime in Beaumont. Sad story all around.

Toyota’s avatar is a snapshot of her cat.

Toyota likes reading, candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach.

Toyota’s guilty pleasure is a second glass of pinot grigio, but never on a weekday.

Toyota goes wild once a week by getting into PJs and watching Dancing With The Stars.

A surprising amount can be forgiven when the alternative is a splitting political party that you’ve fought your whole adult life to reinforce. I think she’s wise enough to see the size and enthusiasm of the progressive branch and know it can’t be ignored much longer. She can’t remodel herself enough to satisfy them,…