I mean, and her message is so good. Emily Sears should be on the twenty dollar bill.

God I’m the worst for even saying this in an article like this but I’m an 80% straight girl and I would try to trade numbers with Waiting In Airport Emily Sears. Just damn girl, you’ve got it.

I wonder the same things some times. Like remember that part in Superbad where the friend just feels compelled to draw dicks all the time, everywhere, without even thinking about it, like some kind of Close Encounters of the Dick Kind or something? What the fuck?

Look, if you don’t want to pay them, just stop hiring them. If no one thinks they deserve minimum wage for doing what they do, just stop, and use their 10k yearly budget or whatever to get that endangered mahogany conference table you’ve always wanted.

Other than “get married as soon as you can so your unplanned pregnancy can be miraculous and godly instead of a shameful punishment for your sins.”

“I passed all those indolent fuckers on the way up the hill. I hope they all slid their cars into a fucking lake.”

Yeah, come to think of it, I probably don’t need a car that could out-climb a Messerschmitt.

This being Milwaukee, chances of that are very high.

Or if it turned out their V8 only actually used 4 of its cylinders. Jalops would be demanding their money back, too.

While I agree on principle - they sold the vehicle on entirely false pretenses and many wouldn’t have bought the car otherwise, I think the petition would have a higher likelihood of success if they bumped Full Price down to Fair Market Price.

That’s my reasoning. I know I don’t know tax code well enough to fine-tune my withholdings to owe $0 and get $0, state and federal (and accountants cost more than any interest gains on my humble savings). So if I’m going to be surprised, I’d rather be surprised in the positive direction than the negative one.

Feature! Car performs completely original atonal soprano arias. Ground breaking!

When I finally get that sheep farm of my insufferable cutesy hipster DIY dreams, I actually am going to need to haul up to 2 tons of malted milk balls (for sheep, so, like, dried corn), and tow a trailer full of animals. I’ll probably need to off-road it to go pick up fencing and stuff until I get a good tractor, but…

Hellcat LeBaron
Hellcat Galant
Hellcat Laser
Hellcat Neon
Hellcat Sebring
Hellcat Vespa
Hellcat Husqvarna
Hellcat Bowflex
Hellcat Whirlpool
Hellcat Dell
Hellcat VitaMix
Hellcat Vizio

I mean, any jackass with enough money can build a vaguely car-shaped object, right? But until this actually becomes a car, with car guts, that a human can operate, or until you can prove that you can build such a thing, there’s nothing to evaluate. Like, my, that’s quite the elaborate car statue you’ve sculpted.

Okay, here’s something she could have done to raise awareness: skip the fucking shoe polish and show us how those accessories and hair styles are made, help share knowledge of a tribe and its culture, y'know, like they were people worthy of respect and not some pretty, exotic birds or something. Assuming she even…

An absolutely fabulous choice

A revolving door of car repairs!