10 year old me would plot your murder for disapproving of Newsies. But 30 year old me ashamedly agrees with you and tells you to ignore the 10 year old, she’s all talk.

Oh god the trailers were the WORST. I was cringing the whole time. Except for those goddamn sloths. I laughed. I laughed repeatedly, god help me.

Dude, the world does not owe you a career in comedy. There are a lot of funny people out there vying for attention, some of them are even genuinely good and awesome people. I’d rather not pay money to listen to some dude who probably raped his girlfriends or at least made them hate him enough to say he did. I don’t…

Volkswagen is king of self-deprecating ad slogans, so I’ll be interested to see if they continue their tradition by winking at the scandal, or if they wimp out and try to pretend it didn’t happen.

I think I had a rich friend who had one. She was bored with it but I was like I AM NEVER TAKING OFF THIS BOA

SAME it was the best

YES, this.

I’m a female human who would like to get a motorcycle. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I don’t give a single half-shit about what any male motorcycle community thinks about me, pedestal or no. I didn’t even know there was a community until I started reading Jalopnik. I’m not in it for the blogging or the…

It’s incredibly important for female immigrants to understand their rights in their new country, what is considered permissible and what isn’t, and what to do if someone violates your rights. Doubly so if they’re educating their children.

Dunning-Kruger Chocolates: We don’t know enough to even know we’re scamming you

Lol that would be the greatest Hipster story ever told if true. I’m actually seeing it as a G&S musical.

0/10 wouldn’t even let him buy me a coffee. And as a moderately attractive, fair-minded, youngish heterosexual dame, I’d let nearly anyone buy me a coffee.

I believed for an embarrassing length of time that wading birds like flamingos stood on one leg in order to avoid “ground lightning.” One leg means it wouldn’t complete the circuit, you see. I have no idea why I thought this.

No, I agree entirely. Up and down the fashion industry, it’s enormously stressful, unappreciated and underpaid work unless your name is on the label, and sometimes even then it’s not worth it. If I were working for some of these assholes, I would cut every corner possible.

And easier to design in general. Just make a huge rectangle with holes, and you’re done! No curves, no problems. It’s hard to design intricate, body-conscious clothing for a huge variety of body shapes but waaaaahhhh that’s why they pay you the big bucks. Take some of that money and use it to pay a great design staff…

“No, you don’t understand, my mother is a toxic, bi-polar narcissist who does NOT respect boundaries” shut the fuck up and just say she’s fine. Save it for your internet friends.

“I don’t agree with anything he says, but at least he’s telling the truth.”

they should consider integrating a whole optional humane slaughtering system in the trunk, with a mesh sluicing grate for the floor of the trunk and a rapid-dispatching blade system that’s activated when the trunk is closed.

It’s so refreshing to see other cultures’ bullshit status quo defenses for once.

“In his seminal Letter on Toleration (1689), John Locke insisted that Muslims and all others who believed in God be tolerated in England. Campaigning for religious freedom in Virginia, Jefferson followed Locke, his idol, in demanding recognition of the religious rights of the “Mahamdan,” the Jew and the “pagan.”…