That is hippie speak for “out of control child”.

I know this is completely inappropriate to the story and I apologise, but I can no longer take the phrase “staff member” seriously anymore because both of those words mean penis and sometimes I have the humour of a 12-year old.

I don’t know that we’re ready for the toddler Hunger Games.

My clack-wanker cousin demanded that we all give her a present from a “Specially Made” wedding gift list from a store in the UK - where nothing cost less than £50. I have never reveled so much in sending someone a large package of cheap-arse kitchen towels from IKEA. The look on her poisonous wee face when she…

The shower gift was all that should have been expected if you were giving a gift. If you gave a gift at the shower one should not have been expected at the wedding. My great aunt was a caterer/party planner for many years and she always said that she considered wedding presents at the wedding to be a bit tacky.…

Yes, the one rule that I tend to think Bride and Grooms need to remember is that a gift is NEVER REQUIRED. Do people tend to? Yes. Do people usually give two, one for the shower one for the wedding? Yes. BUT IT’S NOT REQUIRED!!!

You should have reminded her before her second anniversary that brides have a year to write thank you notes for gifts given so if she wrote one ASAP she’d still be within the acceptable time period. Because that amount of awful requires some next-level snark in return.

I disagree. I think this bride _should_ confront her friend about the lack of gift, so that the bridesmaid has the opportunity to shit in a box and mail it to her, but that's just me.

MY BLOOD PRESSURE. MY BLOOD PRESSURE. MY EYES JUST POPPED OUT OF MY HEAD.

I was in my best friend since kindergarten’s wedding last year. She knew I had financial problems and instead of an expensive gift, she asked me to paint her a fingerprint tree for her guest book. I was so relieved to be able to spent so little and give her something I knew she would treasure forever instead. Her…

Ever notice that the people yelling at others to speak English never have that great a grasp on it themselves?

I feel your pain! It’s good in the guy department because they seem to love it, but awkward in everyday situations.

ugh, same! i just posted upthread about my mother’s voive ringing in my head about what various women’s bodies should/should not wear. i am tired of carrying around the burden of her self-loathing.

I was at a Logan’s and the couple behind us were being so rude to the waitress, berating her and treating her like she was an idiot. She came to us next and you could tell she was upset even though she was very friendly and professional. My pregnancy hormones took over my mouth when I opened it to order my drink and…

There is nothing I can print that won’t be subject to Pinkham’s Law. If I printed “a customer came in and stabbed me in the face” I would get replies of “WELL MAYBE YOU DESERVED IT.”

It continues to amaze me that some customers think that people who professionally make coffee drinks don’t know how to make coffee drinks. Like a barista doesn’t know how to make a cappuccino?

When I rule the world the punishment for snapping your fingers to summon a server shall be the loss of said digits. I can’t even read a description of someone doing that without a red haze descending across my vision.

Legitimate question: what is the safe color to use to denote that a given person does not care about someone’s race with regards to any given decisional process? Blue? Green? I feel like there are no racial associations with green or blue (whereas yellow and red are obviously problematic for a host of reasons).

to be fair though like i am SO GLAD that twitter did not exist when i was in high school