You forgot the Noid?! Fuck you and everyone that looks like you!

Sounds like the restaurants closure was ... *puts on sunglasses*

We're deciding on a P.O.S. system for our cafe, and we had a salesman demo on for us today. One of the reasons listed in the system for a discount was "the customer is an a-hole." He made it clear the tech guy added it as a joke, but definitely in the funny because it's too often true category.

I know a young lady, Amy, not connected to this restaurant except spiritually, who could have been the server. Amy attends the same program as my 22 yr old son - a "sheltered workshop". And there is a restaurant that employs her. Amy cannot wait, and she cannot bus, and she cannot tend bar, but Amy certainly can host.…

This. It's the utter unwillingness to suck it up and not-so-coincidentally shut the fuck up while you do it that makes me want to throw my monogrammed Dior thermos at something. (It's admittedly more dramatic than hoisting my pants up to my armpits and complaining about the gub'mint, which is my real job.) Fer…

I had a tow truck driver return my wallet. He found it on the side of lakeshore drive in Chicago when towing someone. It was February and there was snow and slush everywhere. It had apparently fallen out during one of the 3 times I made the cab pull over so I could barf. This saintly man found the wallet, 411'd the…

In the restaurant that I work at ordering off the menu is annoying because as I server I cannot put an off menu order into the system. Every item on the menu corresponds with a button on my till. All of the acceptable substitutions also have their own buttons on the till (ex: sub salad for fries or no sauce). When a…

My Mr does the MASSIVE SIGH as well and then gives me the "if you would just put it on the shelf where the wallets & keys go* then you wouldn't lose them etc & blah" speech. Normally by the time he has finished his spiel I've usually found the wallet and/or keys in my purse.

You found a unicorn.

I think it kind of depends on the place. I mean, subbing cole slaw for fries with your burger in a bar or diner shouldn't be a big deal, but when you work in a more upscale place with a real chef, they generally match the "sides" with the main dishes with intention. I mean, the sides aren't really sides at all - the…

i had a cabbie in NYC bring me back my phone. i think he did it because i was a 15 year old girl with another 15 year old girl and a mom, and we were clearly not from nyc. but it was super kind of him and very sweet.

Here are a few reasons why restaurants don't want people brown-bagging it:

Baby Boomers with the zeal of the recently converted vegan. Jesus Fucking Christ. I'd go to ridiculous lengths to avoid even a casual chit chat with those people.

From a legal standpoint, it's a liability issue. The kitchen can't know what's actually in the couple's food or if the given cooking directions are correct, so if the couple was to get sick (or fake sick as part of a scam, I suppose) the restaurant could be in trouble.

This is the first comment that absolutely made me laugh out loud today. Like a hard laugh, not a little chuckle, or the amused "haha" of a live studio ostrich.

And after dinner they were going to watch home movies at the AMC! That, or maybe drink their own coffee in a Barnes & Noble while reading books they brought from home. BUT NOW THEIR EVENING IS RUINED!

Guilty.

Just because people might not be able to eat out doesn't mean they shouldn't have just as much opportunity as anyone else to torment waitstaff!

I watched yolk drip off of her nose and she never even wiped her face with the napkin. They kept eating, paid and left, putting on hats and coats over eggy mess like nothing had happened.

Omg, I was just waiting to read a sentence like "Lo and behold, the phone was on silent and in the bottom of her bag the entire time."