Wow, and congratulations on turning 13.

While I want to hate to Logan for being a complete fucking waste of a human being, I'm going to. Logan is a complete fucking waste of a human being. And Veronica is a tool for not having two cents enough of a spine to recognize what an emotionally manipulative disrespectful wad he is and walk away from it.

Oh, how I wish I knew who those crazies were.

LOL, "tips"

Not gonna lie: I got this one, yo.

OH SNAP

Ugh. Then Miranda also needs to lose her job and dick privilege.

Poor Orlando and Miranda. They were the prettiest lesbian couple I have ever seen.

An old friend of mine can confirm that Alan Thicke is a creepy sleazy motherfucker who totally thinks his 80's star power + perceived hotness can land him any woman any time, including said old friend. She called Thicke's bluff back in '97 ... he was on drugs and couldn't get it up.

Yayayayay Emma Stone gives me feels in my no-no place.

If I catch her pulling her panties out of her crotch, scratching her ass, or launching an epic belch in front of me before our 2nd date, I'm calling that marriage material.

But then who will be the sexually charged arch Nemesis to my Bayshore Crazy Man?

Because women only like certain body types.

Look honey! I got you one of those motorized cat litterbox thingies for Christmas. xoxoxozo <3 <3 <3

Too late. You lost me to cat litter woman.

Yes, because when I go to Hooters I freak out and can't finish my hotwings if I see a black woman who doesn't look like ... wait, what now?

I do so like Ms. Dennings. Hot? Of course. But, hot only works if the person underneath is cool and she seems very cool. I think I would enjoy hanging out with her at a party or something and seeing what she's like.