DAMN YOUR SINCERE ANSWER

It's funny you should mention that. I always wanted to be a playwright, but I never learned to read.

"Why do you have stapler marks all over your forehead?"

Sadly the jobs market is horrible out here, and they know it.

Everything's better when you got money$.

How do you spin? I mean, seriously. The record plays, you beat match it to the next song, game over.

#TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL #TROLL

I have that job right now.

#Troll

What's the currency conversion on James Franco? Is his currency called Francos? I bet it's infinite Francos to the Dollar.

Your defiantly write about that! Their should be know re

A wiffleball bat is a reference to an old Beastie Boys song.

It's held up because the amazing power of Sandy told it to!

I. FUCKING. WISH.

What if I just masturbate with a bunch of exfoliating cream?

HELL FUCKING YES YOU TELL HER.

After learning that my ex was a serial cheater, I boiled my sheets. Then I burned them.

Awww, man! I thought this was going to be some freaky-deaky story about a sub-cub-culture of gay sex. Bears. Pandas. Is that not a thing?

... did you not see Nice Guys of OKCupid?

Then you did not meet him on OKC, you liar.