Your boyfriend wears a fedora, likes Ayn Rand, and is a "nice guy."

I hear good things about HowAboutWe.com

OKC is basically the new Craigslist Personals.

I don't think he was doing it to be sexual.

FFWD NEARLY TWO YEARS ....

Sounds like dude doesn't know how to deal with trust issues.

This just in: when your shitty partner shittily does shitty things behind your back and won't fess up to their shit when you confront them on it, you go investigating their shit so that you can confirm that they're trying to gaslight your shit.

The last time a dude paraded around in tighty shorties was George Michael, and that was specifically for dudes.

Beetledouche Beetledouche BEETLEDOUCHE

You're goddamn *hic* right, talking angel food cake.

Me? I would dunk those motherfucking cookies in that motherfucking zin and eat 'em LIKE A BOSS.

POST IT NOW MOTHERFUCKER

It is kind of difficult to pin down the actual risk of infection.

I am in love and I want to date this girl.

I want that therapy pit bull. I want to sit on a couch and tell a pitty all my problems.

If nitpicking grammar is all you have left, it's time for you to go.

I see. So you use your bungled experience to justify the immoral slaughter of pets everywhere.

Just because it isn't what you want for you doesn't give you the right to make it the blanket policy of everything for which you're responsible.

Oh, for the fucking love of god, please go fuck yourself off a cliff, you fucking tool.

The standard of quality of life is subjective to the entity who experiences that life.