It's a little hard to not let this get to me when it's everywhere I go.

No, it's the body.

Have decided to be proud. Fuck the haters.

I have a strong love for Katy Perry. Listened to her love songs when I started a relationship. Listened to her breakup songs when the relationship fell apart.

Thanks for all the body snarking, jezzies.

Fuck you. I have bieber's build and I'm packing just fine, thank you.

Hey Bieber and I totally have the same build. Not sure if proud or ashamed.

I wouldn't even bother being polite. Fuck those parents. They need to be set straight or they'll raise their kid to be a shithead.

"Adorably hung."

Next I suppose you're going to say they didn't invent the swastika, either.

No, I'm pretty sure the Nazis invented that. Other things the Nazis invented:

So was socialized health care. Your argument is invalid.

That's fair. I'm an admitted Smoke Nazi, so I would have compared smokers to Hitler if Hitler had smoked.

It's certainly better than the analogies the smoker apologists are offering. It's almost like they're ... blowing smoke up our asses.

Have you tried smoking in a grave? It would seem to be quite a time saver.

"Respectful smoker" is an oxymoron.

Too bad, smoker. You're disgusting.

I lived in a building where a cabal liked to smoke under my window.

Awww, I feel bad for you. It must be soooo haaaaard not having a safe place to indulge your addiction.

Keep telling yourself that.