The truth keeps changing. He was a Simmons fan, he wasn't a Simmons fan, he kinda knew who Cousin Sal was, he wanted to read the mailbags, he loves Grantland, he needs a year off from 90210 references...When he sticks to a snarky comment, I'll believe the truth.

You outed yourself as a Simmons fan with the "Simmons! Who knew?" line at the end. That is a classic Bill Simmons line. I love how people try to act like they don't like Simmons, yet they can quote chapter and verse from columns he's written and podcasts he's done. Own up to your Simmons fandom - there is no shame in…

If you listen REEEEEALLY closely at about the 0:57 mark in the video, you can actually hear the other 3's buttholes pucker.

Not the first time ever for me, as I don't think he deserves QUITE as much shit as he gets here. But good God does he make the other morons look like a bunch of petrified wood and good God do I love it.

I'm with you on that one. ESPN has seemed to be afraid to get on anyone's bad side at the cost of intriguing content, and actual compelling argument.

Not gonna lie, totally agree with you on this.

Couldn't agree more- you could smell the cowardice on the other 3 through the screen.

Between this and the Decision, apparently Simmons is the only person who can spot elephants in the room at ESPN.

For the first time ever, I am a huge Simmons fan. Him immediately going back on the offensive when they cut back after the Doc interview was spectacular, made even moreso by the stark contrast of the other talking heads slipping into ESPN "we can't say anything negative or controversial" coward mode.

Quite honestly Simmons can't win with you guys. Can you pick ONE narrative and stick with it? You're all over the place ... you're like Rufus (RIP)

Yes, but - mindful of his legacy, he quickly followed that up with a prolonged Entourage reference.

Oasis?! Excuse me while my head asplodes!

For those of you who like a little science with your advice, here is what the Mayo clinic has to say on the subject:

Yes, this graph was about you, and only you. Be sure to let them know on Twitter how wrong they got it.

Single and white.

I thought this response killed it.

420 + 187 = 113

Nah, man. There's a different reason why Brady was drafted there. Hernandez's reason was the likelihood that he'd be charged with murder.

In his defense, he wasn't allowed his pre-fight cigarette.