I wonder who the egg donor was, and whether SHE has any rights in this situation. It's sad all around.

I like to think she carried him around in one of those babysling things when no one was around.

I went to school in the Bay Area in the early 90's and Counting Crows was a part of the music scene. The house I lived in had a band that played a lot of the same venues they played, and had a lot of live music shows actually at the house, and also, you could just go out in then and hear like, three bands for five…

Whenever some dude like this snares a baffling number of amazing, beautiful women, I just assume they massage the clitoris during sex.

You know, regarding Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett, one of my friends used to say that the world was divided into two kinds of people: those who said, "What was she thinking?" and those who said "What was he thinking?"

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????

Billy Corgan and Tila Tequila freaked me out more than him with Jessica Simpson. Oh Billy I've loved you since the mid 90s when I was an angsty teen listening to "Mellon Collie" and "Adore" in my three disc stereo system on shuffle, but the 2000s were not kind to you. You made some horrible decisions then.

OK OK OK OK that was the one I originally was going to go with! Cher tells some great stories about when she was dating him. But sometimes I get lost babbling about stuff that happened in the 80s and people are like "UMM I'M 25 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT." So I went with Katie.

Also:

GOOD ONE! OMG he looks terrified to be with her.

Billy Corgan/Jessica Simpson

What about Cher and Tom Cruise?

Cameron Diaz is now dating one of the "Good Charlotte" twins. That's pretty weird.

OMG I have a story about Adam Duritz!

Let's just all remember to take Rita Skeeter with a grain of salt. She is known for writing things that aren't necessarily true. Everyone is posting that Ron is balding now; when I read that, in my mind I imagined him constantly asking Hermione if it's true, while unconsciously touching his head. Also, there is NO WAY…

As someone who has worked in a maximum security prison, I'm not surprised. When I first started working there I was told two things: Watch your coworkers more closely than the inmate, and never eat anything with a white/cream sauce. My friend was right about both.

OK, I was born in Alabama. I grew up in Florida and I live in Texas.

It's worth mentioning that Aramark was only allowed to begin bidding on the Michigan contract under current governor Rick Snyder, whose union busting appears to know no bounds. Moving the contract to Aramark, from the previous standard of using state employees, was supposed to save money. Instead, Aramark has been…

I once had to look up the other lawsuits filed by the plaintiff in ine of my cases. He was incarcerated and liked to file lawsuits for himself and draft them for his cell mates. He and over a dozen detainees sued the food supplier to the detention facility, alleging that the meat they were served had been labelled not…

When I watch Netflix (or Hulu) for a very long time, it eventually asks me if I want to "Continue Watching" or take a break or something. It's so patronizing.