I once convinced some kids in my street that I was a vampire (i was obsessed with vampires as a kid). I'd had some teeth taken out at the dentists, and they'd given them to me as a souvenir. So obviously I showed the other kids the roots and told them I'd been de-fanged. And they didn't quite believe me, so I spat a…

But it's art.

Pssht, he's only reading that because he's on the cover. (I prayed it was because he also wrote it, but alas, the gods are against us.)

And a shot of creme de menthe dropped in.

To counter; milk does not give me the shits and it also comes in chocolate flavour.

Realising that those penguins are plushes just broke off a piece of my heart and thusly I will never live to 100. Thanks, Jez.

What is this article? I have no time for her, but if this had happened to me, you can bet I would be setting someone on fire.

I can imagine with recent reports, their focus on him might have become slightly more intense.

I hate every headline I've seen that's basically gone "Bruce Jenner ininjured in car crash!" That's great, but he is complicit in someway with someone else's death, can you focus there for a second?

At least you are being sheilded from what they've done to creme eggs. It's not right, not right at all...

Hahahahahahahaha.

I have something called Inflammatory Myelitis - basically the sheath that protects my spinal cord wears away and messes with the messages my nerves are sending to my brain. I have compromised sensation on my left side, a constant ache in my hand and loss of dexterity. It doesn't fix and since I've had two flare ups, I…

I got a new puppy the other week, and any attempts at doing yoga have been met with either a) being licked to death, or b) being wiggled and jumped on. I don't even care.

I'm in the same spot (only I'm not awesome and published). It just seems so much harder to pull the turn at this age.

I like seeing condoms in porn, but show me a dude who's got his socks on and I will throw it across the room. Nobody needs to see that.

My James Dean / Paul Newman happy thought.

To rain on the parade, she's not recognised by The Church so she's as much a Catholic Priest as I am. She's a Florida Unity Priest.

Twot? (And I say that as English.)

Rayner said she panicked as she had to get to the last train to Aberdeen with her daughter, who suffers from asthma.