Petchesky, you call yourself a writer? 'Nonplussed' and 'disappointed' are not the same fucking thing. Jesus Christ. Why are sports writers sloppy?

What the fuck? Why do they all have gross facial hair? Why are they dressed like slobs? My god. I hope none of these gross, disgusting human beings ever gets laid. They can't even do the local womenfolk the basic courtesy of a fucking shave and a haircut. Shame on them. And I have contempt for any woman who finds…

Can you people just shut up with the deeply emotional and sensitive female singer-songwriter bullshit and instead focus on tomorrow's Heat-Pacers game? Ugh, what a sorry display. It's Game 7 of the ECF, you tools. The Heat might fucking lose. What the fuck is wrong with you? Douchebags.

I wonder how long it will take before some drunk asshole in Chicago or Indianapolis thinks that shoving LeBron James to the ground is actually easy as fuck and decides to go for it.

Run away, CP3! Run away! You can drive off in Blake Griffin's Kia Optima. Just barter it from him for a big bottle of sunscreen.

God, it is awesome to watch hirings made for purely PC reasons crash and burn. MOAR!

Did anyone else get a little turned on by this?

What IS the point, man? There's like something-something Birdman and something-something Hibbert and OMG, cuss words and holy shitballs, we must think of the children. And something about suspensions. And then you called someone the c-word right after you seemingly got mad at someone for saying 'motherfucker'. So uh,…

Good on Hibbert for calling sports reporters a bad word. I wish he had gone a lot farther. The 'no homo' thing was really stupid and juvenile. But mocking and criticizing members of sports media in this country has been a long fucking time coming. It's about time someone put them in their place and called them on…

What the hell are you talking about, man? Your comments in this thread are just about rage-spewing. I'm not really hearing a discernable point here.

Man, this is some subversive, well-crafted humor. Carlos Mencia has taught you well. Did you suck his cock or merely bend over for him and moan his name as and when he told you?

Can you write a piece on the role owners play in the way teams are run? Everyone knows that they play a 'powerful' and 'important' role. But every owner has his own style and blind spots. Which owners strike you as good ones and which, apart from Sterling, strike you as shitty ones, and why? Also can you do a piece on…

Keep polishing that minivan, man.

Of course you do. You're a parody of yourself. How else would a smug, self-congratulatory person, with a wonderful life that he can't stop referencing or alluding to, respond? Of course you would respond with condescension and pity.

No. I get that I didn't really burn you. Your shield of smug self-congratulation about your wonderful life is much too hard to penetrate.

We get it, guy. You have a fabulous life. Every comment of yours has only ever come off as smug and self-congratulatory about your great job, your great wife, your great socioeconomic status, your contentment with your material possessions...it goes on and on. You've been pulling this schtick for years on Gawker…

It's okay, people. It's alright. We can do this. It sounds a lot scarier than it actually is. It's not such a big deal once you actually say it. Here, everything's gonna be okay, we'll be fine. Don't be afraid to say it. Altogether now: Bill Simmons is a douchebag.

Oh no, really? Man, I feel bad now.

That lady, Julie Hermann, is totally a female douchebag.

You guys are fucking lame. This is not even homoerotic even though the guy has his forehead in another guy's crotch. It's just not sexual really. You people are so fuckin juvenile. And not even about the right things. Like you could totally make a pee drinking orgasm joke that's way more gross and hardcore than the…