What actually happened: The Hummer is possibly the most unreliable piece of crap I've ever owned.

Obvious joke is...obvious

Proper 6-speed, but I'd have a few questions about the S54 at that mileage, as in "have you replaced the VANOS and/or the rod bearings yet?"

Maryland is looking at something similar:

But now that turd may face some serious legal consequences. CBS Los Angeles reports that using the video, the California Highway Patrol tracked down the WRX driver and confronted him with the video. The suspect, described as a Pasadena man in his 20s, initially denied any wrongdoing but when shown the video claimed…

And 34 years later, Motorweek production values are still just a half-step above public access cable. I'm sorry, but I grew up in MD watching this and the kitsch factor just isn't there for me.

That silver van is extremely lucky.

Simple - $$$$. Your insurance company doesn't want to pay out $5K every time you get a rock chip.

How...underwhelming.

Some say that he accidentally introduced Her Majesty to a Greek racialist...

It's too small to be of any use.

Niccolo Machiavelli. No one else would have made it out of the pits.

Yes, wonderful - as long as you realize that $25K is the cover charge and you'll probably double that in repair bills in the first two years.

Oh, for a flatbed and a bolt cutter.

Speed limits based on the performance envelope of a 1958 Dodge.

Duh.

VW Golf TDI. Cheap to maintain, great mileage, low insurance, not enough engine to get the kid in trouble.

I could see it at $51K here, but the exchange rate pushes it firmly into CP territory.