I think this is my discomfort with her lately.

"Hi, I'm Rob Lowe."

I hate that fucking guy. And he's an embarrassment to Indian Americans. I always have to tell people he's not one of my people. I wish Chappelle's racial draft was real, we'd pawn him off on the Whites in a HEARTBEAT.

Whitney's brother introduced her to drugs and has said so in an interview with Sister 2 Sister magazine. So let's just all take that in before folks come in here with the "Bobby made her do it," part 2 narrative.

I'm ethnic, too. Ethnically Polish, that is. This is the skin color of my people:

I'd hit it.

My pup found herself in the mirror about a month ago. She spent two days like this any time she was in the bedroom. Just quietly growling and watching herself.

I had regular playdates with one girl in possession of a Teddy Ruxpin. Our favorite thing to do was load him with non-approved cassette tapes. Watching his creepy slow blinking while mouthing the words to George Michael's "Father Figure" was quite a singular experience.

Remember when VH1 was the classy music channel your parents watched because Mom loved Jon Secada?

I have a younger cousin who is active in one of these sororities and she was so horrified and offended by this show, and I didn't get the huff. I thought she was just being dramatic.

Instead of outright saying "I'm a lesbian," in the future I will just say "I'm more casual than ever." It's basically the same.

Like a vertebrate

The part where "Madonna Badger" isn't a new meme starring a badger in a wig, and a couple of "video" clips of it with really bad covers of Madonna songs playing in the background, is a crime against everything I can think of at the moment.

Stand in front of a mirror.

So the woman who got scratched has until the next blood moon to kill the original one or she turns into Amanda Bynes, right?

There's a huge amount of racism at play here. When they're not being characterized as sluts, black women are characterized as sexless and/or masculine. Not that there's anything wrong with a woman who's more masculine than most (and oh I could spend hours on how we categorize things as masculine or feminine) but this…

My dog went into the kitchen once, pulled out an empty chili container from the trash and brought it back to us. She plopped down in front of us and started to work on licking out the chili leavings. Like "HOW YOU GUYS DOIN'; I GOT CHILI." When we tried to take it from her she was like "EXCUSE ME, ASSHOLES THAT IS…

I hate being *that* guy but jeeze, they really don't make 'em like Grace anymore! I can watch her "I'm Not Perfect" and "Slave to the Rhythm" videos over and over.

For my second kid's birth, my epidural failed. Yep, apparently this is a thing that can happen. I had been in labor for about 12 hours and was exhausted. I got it just as things were getting intense, and was fine for about an hour. Then all of a sudden the pain came back full force, just as I was transitioning - the…