One Easter weekend my then 2 year old son decided he wanted to cry his way through the night. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him. We had a house full of people being kept awake. I took his little footie-pajama’ed butt out to the front porch at like 2 a.m. (60 + degrees) and left him there for 5 minutes. He…

This whole hair thing is SO Edie Sedgewick

So are the bathroom police also patrolling men’s rooms? Because maybe they didn’t get the memo that there are female to male trans people, too. Oh right, women are delicate flowers and need to be protected (barf.) I’m a 5'10" cis woman and if I have to pee I’ll use whatever damned bathroom is available. Though I have…

That's true, but it also does wonders for your simple gold and silver pieces. But in my experience if you can take your ring in to the original jeweler they will happily throw your other jewelry into the sonic cleaner. Keeping the customer happy, etc.

Buy an ultrasonic jewelry cleaner - then you can do all your jewelry, have friends over for wine and jewelry cleaning!

He has what appears to be a lump on his neck. I’m hoping it’s a lymph node.

OMG this is the FIRST thing I thought of

I ride and work with horses, who are 99% of the time docile and compliant, but when that fight or flight thing kicks in all bets are off. Anyone working with any animal bigger than a house cat needs to always assume this

Hat happened to Dolly’s neck?

My son works for Bernie and he thinks she wants to be treasury secretary

God he wants her so bad. Pulling her ponytail only whetted his appetite. He wants to bring her down, so far down, no, farther . . . Anyway you get my drift

I live in Boston and for the only two deliveries I've had one was a black woman and the other a black guy. Both super polite and professional. Next time I get a delivery I'm going to get their take on the situation.

Same. But now that I'm getting older I'm really glad I developed a wit. You can still intrigue people with fading good looks and a smart mouth.

He’s live-tweeting the debate. Check it out, it's awesome.

No you said that. Also as soon as someone tells me, over such a non-combatative statement, to go fuck myself, I immediately assume you are non-functional.

I’m dealing with some serious back issues that are the result of caring too much about my workouts, and being too vain about my weight (plus spills off my horse.) I currently would gladly trade being out of shape for just being able to go back to work and doing the things I love. Perspective is everything

Am I the only person that’s shocked that two of Trumps three wives do not call English their first language and no one’s called him on this? Guess it’s ok as long as it’s not Spanish

Yeah I work with some pretty disabled kids and I'm sure their mothers would like to have a word with this woman. You want discrimination? Try going into CVS with a kid with profound Tourette's

Like when those miners finally got out of the mine and both the wife and the (previously secret) mistress were both waiting. Climb back down the hole dude

Wow. That’s so awesomely, beautifully fucked up. I’ll save you a seat by The Inferno