Wow! That English major paid off.

I was looking for Chapelle’s “When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong” skit, but could only find rip offs.

Smoothies are also a good way to dispose of brown bananas.

Yeah. I mean, look at Chicago over the weekend.

Thankfully, no Republican Congressman died as a result of the media’s vitriol. They’ve tried, mind you, and more than one has been hospitalized.

This has been a mandatory staple for Christmas Eve (and breakfast at Christmas). And it isn’t a salad, it’s dessert.

“i do not understand america’s fucking tax laws.”

Here you go:

This is what happens when you don’t let kids use the dangerous playground equipment.

Tweety is too low.

I get that I’m a persecuted minority, but don’t rub it my face. I was BORN THAT WAY!

How about meat mix-ins?

The great 8:

Well, first of all, we don’t know that it was ice and water. It could have been anything (Gatorade, caffeinated water, etc.).

And that’s how we got easily available opoids. If pharmacists had objected, things might have turned out differently.

“he’s just a tightwad who blackmails people for $5"

This is how it’s done.

If he tried that under a communist regime, he’d find himself in a shallow grave.

A couple grand? What doctors are you seeing?

Yeah, Haiti was dealt a raw hand, but they did themselves no favors. The Dominican Republic is next door and poor, but is in infinitely better shape, if for no other reason then far better leadership and better ecological management.