Dwight Howard's teammates made a similar show of solidarity this season by also acting like they didn't give a shit.

"Jenny, if you tell me what happened, it'll all be forgotten."

"The Eagles are a strip mall fitness center."

"I wish I could tell you that OJ fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew."

The glove obviously won't fit again anytime soon.

Journalism!

The bear had a hankering for some Rhesus Pieces.

No surprise he was trying to steal a Mustang. He's been stealing from the Fords since he was drafted.

It's a shame that GMs these days only want to know how far you can punt a football.

Scantily-clad Catholic Schoolboy is Sore, Looser

[Miller Park employee briefly stops working and looks around suspiciously]

So this explain's the Lidz scoop, but can someone explain how he gets away with charging me $30 for a Cubs hat at the mall?

Nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope. Good night.

With Dylan Byers, I think the best response is to do what Nate Silver did:

Ignore him.