This doesn’t sound much dumber than any of the other things college football coaches do. Doing it FOR THE TEAM is used to excuse all manner of stupid shit. 

$50 a player won’t cover the cost of a pair of cleats, or helmet, or pads, or travel expenses to one road game. This is basically a pledge of allegiance.

I feel like the only thing you got right was counting to three successfully.

since no one else has said it yet, fuck this guy

A lot of fetishes and kinks make sense to me. My own, obviously, are normal and natural and a part of the human experience. Others may not be my thing, but, like...I get it, man. But feet? Fucking feet?!? Fucking feet? Feet are disgusting and bizarre.

In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks spends four years on an island....alone. When he returns to civilization, his estranged wife notes “We got a football team now.”

Boneitis? Attacked by a bone vampire? Sold a bone to Cash Bone?

Small Little Bone was the worst rapper in Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony don’t @ me. 

Well, I don’t blame him. You can’t exactly search Backpage anymore when you want some helmet. 

I appreciate how this bold young man is calling Ross out on the mission of the charity. It’s like:

These owners really need to stick to sports.

This reply is burfict.

FIFY

More like this, please! I get so tired of football articles that live in coach-speak or banal observations. As a dork who played for a year in high school 20+ years ago (I was tasked with ‘best receiver on the scout team’ role, if that gives an indication of my talent; I was much better suited for XC and middle…

Did you ever try to line up against Champ, point across the field and yell, “HEY, WHAT’S THAT??? just before the snap?

I wouldn’t worry too much about the injured. In my experience, there are plenty of Chinese spare ribs to go around.

Is Patricia really upset about the slouching or is there a subtext where he just found out the reporter asked out Olive Oyl?

And even worse, EA didn’t give him his iconic third leg.

No, she’d have been called MC Byte.

He will always be Scully to me.