@WalterSobchak: I could've sworn they were called Memphibians. And now you know.

@Kam Fong As Chin Ho: Or, because the only way he can talk his wife into a beej is if he wears a condom. Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds. Had to tell her to stop after 45 mins so I could just rub one out.

Two words. The Sandlot.

@Cheesasaurus: +1 to you for having the balls to drop a Pokemon joke in here. Kudos, sir. Kudos.

Wait, LeBron is Dominican?

@theeschwartz: Washington State: You were a great number 11.

@Jim_Lampleys_Hair: I thought I knew what tough meant. There's Grandparent Tough, there's WWII Vet Tough, and then there's Bat Shit Crazy Old Country Immigrant Tough. My Dad is tough in ways I can't even come close to imagining.

My Dad is a black belt in some form of Jiu-Jitsu. I once saw him fight off 3 people trying to run out on a bill in his pizza restaurant. He broke his back once and drove himself to the hospital. Once, working construction, slipped and snapped his ankle at 8AM. He finished his 8 hour shift and then drove to the…

@OchentaYcinco: I had a room mate in college that was so addicted to this game that he burned through an entire 162 game season in a weekend. Did this on multiple occasions.

I can't believe we're going to discuss "Blood Week" with even mentioning Tommy "Wildfire" Rich or "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair.

Fightin' Christians vs. The Pussiest Military School Ever.

@Clarence Rosario: My younger brother also insists on telling me about all the crazy sex he and his wife have. He's even gone so far as to have sex while on the phone with me. We all had a good laugh about it. But I always trump them when I regale them about my Joe DiMaggio-like hitless streak of no sex. Married…

My question to you is: am I the only fat fuck who has ever shut down a theme park ride? Surely not....

This proves the theory I came up with in college when I spent a year as an equipment manager for the baseball team. Baseball players are fucking weird.

@Donnie_Iris: +1 to you sir. Now THAT'S comedy!

Nobody, and I mean NO BODY, ever messed with Mother Theresa again.

@Barry Petchesky: Boy, the new GI Joe has really gone Xtreme, hasn't it?

@Chris Hanson's Axe: It's nice to know I will have company while I wait in the VIP line to get into Hell.

@Zap Rowsdower: Almost as bad as my wife who is allergic to sour cream, but never has the nerve to ask if whatever she's order has sour cream in it. So it's my job to ask no matter what she orders.

@StevieFranchise: +1 Hakuna Matata