UPDATE: I owe Fox an apology because this one is somehow even fucking worse than her dogshit:

Did you read the B/R article on deadspin a while back about how they pattern their stories after a headline that will drive page clicks? I feel like ESPN is doing the same thing - let the headlines write the story.

Thank you for writing this. I love the Patriots more than anything, and anyone who finds that out spews just an ungodly amount of unstoppable nonsense my way, and I accept that because that's just what it is to be a Pats fan. We've had a lot of success, we had a few scandals, and that is just a recipe for people…

If Hernandez were a true believer in the "Patriot Way", he would've used a musket when he killed Odin Lloyd.

Hell, I'd argue Hernandez is hewing much closer to the Patriot Way now that he's in jail. He'll sleep on a straw cot, shit into a pot, and be owned by another human being.

This is the problem with where ESPN is going. My guess is that Fox doesn't even believe the crap she's spewing out, but she knows a headline like "Patriots Forever Stained" and an opinion that the "Patriots are forever stained" will fire people up on both sides of the supposed issue. It's the Mad Dog Russo style of…

You're goddamn right I'm the strongest. Forearms like goddamn paint buckets.

Along with the straps, get rid of those fucking gloves. Calluses never hurt anybody.

Great article. I for one am pulling for Miggy, would love to witness a back to back Triple Crown winner.

More articles like this please. I'm so tired of people struggling to determine which of these two guys is having a better season. They're both amazing, isn't that good enough?

Prince Fielder's plate appearances per home run would be a lot lower than Cabrera or Davis, but they make you take a new plate each time you go to the buffet.

As an O's fan, Jim Johnson scares me too, sometimes.

It appears she caught her reflection in the Kindle of the person sitting in front of her.

Things are so bad they can't afford a calculator. 1040 + 592 = 1632, not 1652.

What makes it worse is that they accidentally included the inventory of Hebrew National in the count.

"Soccer sucks."

C'mon, I'm at least mediocre.

But then think how bored John Koblin would be.