Once again proving that no one in Baltimore actually works for a living, not even the team executives who made sure to set up this exchange for a weekday morning.

I started Brandon Marshall last week and he won me my fantasy game, Magary. Nananabooboo, stick your head in doo doo.

In other news... [falls asleep at mention of the WNBA]

Jake Locker in five years.

I attended a game at RFK when I was eight years old wearing a Heath Shuler jersey my father had bought me. This was a year or two after he had finally flamed out in the NFL. I have not been a fan of this team since. Best worst experience of my life. Saved me a lot of unnecessary brain rattling over Dan Snyder. …

The future site of Washington's home games.

A.J. Pierzynski, showing his solidarity with the police officers of Ferguson, Missouri.

Impression of the internal monologue playing out at Jezebel between this and the catastrophe unfolding in St. Louis:

Jezebel: "God, white privilege is terrible, look at what it's doing to this city!"
J: "But Tavi Gevinson is so adorbs (used unironically) and gives such great fashion tips, she's not the face of white…

TL;DR Bill James and Charles Manson had a kid. Seriously, do not venture down that rabbit hole. It will break your brain.

The only coherent thought in the whole mess: "There is something to be said for brevity and a well-thought-out thesis." And that was in the comments!

Magary's going to be crying into his cereal for months over this one.

As much as I would like to set aside the cynicism expressed in this article, in the context of the present context of how this story is being covered ("Oh, how heartwarming!"), this was a necessary blast of cool rationality to the situation. The facts laid out above tend to speak for themselves when separated from…

Brett Favre seems like a more apt comparison. I'm surprised Rachel Nichols hasn't taken up residence on LeBron's lawn by now.

The piece was clearly killed because it made Nike look terrible, not Lebron. The fact that the company had essentially commissioned and paid for the production of the piece in consort with a magazine which helped portray their CEO positively in the past pretty much supports this fact.

I wasn't defending Geno. Michael Vick is that team's quarterback in September. But I am saying that people need to stop associating championships with individual effectiveness. I would take Dan Marino in his prime over any of the four guys I mentioned above by a significant margin and he didn't win shit. Stats and…

I put in a vote for one of the most overrated love stories of all time (and inexplicable Oscar winner) The English Patient. Was I the only one who found Elaine Benes pretty annoying on Seinfeld only to completely and thoroughly agree with her in the assertion that English Patient was one of the most boring things…

Winning is a function generally of teams, not quarterbacks. MARK SANCHEZ made two consecutive AFC Championship games. Eli won in 2012 because he had an awesome season, same with Flacco in the 2013 Playoffs, but otherwise those two are thoroughly average quarterbacks. This is the exact same argument I make in…

They should rename this "Eli Manning Syndrome". Favre and Cutler threw (throw) picks because they like to take risks. Eli, Flacco, and Geno make at least one throw (if not several) per game that make you seriously wonder if they're even NFL caliber, nevermind the fact that two of them have been in the league for…

This question is a joke... right?

Questions: How incendiary will the references to the Washington NFL sports franchise be in this year's batch? What will Dan Snyder be doing with the Ginger Hammer?

How cantankerous is Magary in real life? He's amusing and surprisingly warm in his familial writing, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to his usual posts, they are regularly written in the tone (definitely not the language) of an old man sending back soup at a deli. I guess the question I'm asking is, in his…