Mace/Pepper Spray

(Angrily tears up Super Bowl ticket)
-Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger

"Do any of you have any idea how fattening gummy steroids are?"

Two fantastic show openings to mediocre TV shows:

I used to have PTI on my DVR. Now I can't remember why. There was a time when PTI and ATH (pre-Reali, fuck that guy) were interesting and had a benign, outside-of-the-box air to them. Now they're just establishment assholes passing sanctimonious judgments between alcohol commercials.

And Wilbon, that's how you use…

Wow, the look on Bomani's face as Le Batard announced that. He was like, "Uh oh, shit just got real in this kitchen."

+35 points in the second half

Given that he's a LeBeauf, you just know that the dick in that pic wasn't actually his.

Proof that talentless, overrated assholes stick together.

+1 on this. RG3-13 is such a narcissistic asshole. He and Dan Snyder deserve each other. Not that it matters much, because the dysfunctional personnel of that team and the reckless play style he needs to employ to be a good football player will lead to a career-ending injury soon enough.

Dan fucking Snyder. Your move, sir.

This would actually make MNF interesting again while simultaneously outing ESPN as the intellectually vapid frauds we all know them to be. I hope they do it.

Grierson, you completely missed the point of At Berkeley.

Three words for him: One and done.

If I were a professional baseball player that close to Jeffrey Loria, I'd try to flee the area at a high rate of speed too. Loria is baseball kryptonite.

Between this and the debate over the black cast member, I am more convinced than ever that SNL jumped the shark as a legitimate comedy program at least ten years ago. Its stance as an institution, as with those of 60 Minutes and The Tonight Show is puzzling, particularly since two of them air on the clusterfuck known…

Also, members of the 1972 Olympic basketball team. Sports Cold War!

Why is someone who asks incessant and obvious questions he doesn't know the answers to a sports pundit?

I know one man who can offer an effective counterpoint to the Tony Romo choker narrative for this season.

You win.

Sodomy?