The thing is ... at a certain point, cosmetic surgery just plain fails to be convincing. And after that, it heads down the runway to horrifying.

Similar kind of inexplicable devotion among small farmers as well. I’ve driven past several tattered, tumbledown farms with small herds of cattle and modest cornfields that have tRump signs emblazoned on their barns and fences. Do they really think he’ll give them what they need to compete against the massive factory…

Granted, the rest of his Twitbox ramblings are the stuff of eyerollings, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also had complete brainfarts when it comes to drawing a blank running into people I’ve known - and even worked with - over the past 30 years of adult life. A woman breathlessly ran up to me as I was heading to my…

Further proof that the TRump men don’t have mirrors; they have wives, paid sex workers and sycophants to tell them they look “tremendous” and “fantastic” instead.

Some of the most racist assholes I know already look like beef jerky because of the hours they spend on their (restricted) golf courses. I think they’re pretty much beyond the healing powers of tea tree oil.

Sheboygan is also the Florida Man of Wisconsin.

What gets me about these “civilian militia” groups is that they’re often populated with the same people who love their “support the badge” and “honor the troops” regalia. But if any of them got their shit together long enough to mount that armed insurrection of their dreams, do they realize they’d have to attack and…

That’s great and dramatic and all that, but I don’t see TRump as a Harry Potter fan (books are too long, British people talk funny, no golf).

So what happened between that documentary about his basketball team adventure and his current status as “ongoing negotiator”? I thought he’d been stood up by KJU and declared a persona non grata after all the drunkedness and awkwardness and fighting.

Really, at this point, anybody who still thinks that tRump is an asset to this country is either a) completely ignorant of this country’s history and laws, b) a traitor or c) some degree of mentally incompetent. I mean, when the guy completely fucks shit up at a conference of our historic and economic allies, and then…

In one of the suburban industrial parks near my house, there’s a guy who has his own maple grove next to his electronics factory. When he needed to expand, he bought a separate lot a quarter mile away because he couldn’t even consider cutting down his sugar bush. I wish I could work there, if only for that.

And Wisconsin. There’s a lot to be said about the unpretentious little sellers up in the north woods. No fancy bottles or artist-designed labels. Yet all of them taste a little different. It’s become my new culinary obsession.  

The TRump base considers this a big win. He showed those fancy-pants European fancies!

Hey - an overtightened face is a real challenge. You never know when you’re going to pop like an over cooked eggplant.

The thing is, when you’re in the White House everything you do is going to be subject to public scrutiny, which is why a lot of great people run the other way when asked to made a run for the presidency. The fact that the Trumps want to act like they could when they lived in Tacky Tower shows how much they’ve totally…

Despite all the glowing reminiscences of the good old days when you could leave your doors unlocked, it was still a dicey world if you strayed beyond the normal. My dad had combat-related PTSD and alcoholism; his sister had him institutionalized around the time of her wedding so he wouldn’t be a disturbance. My aunt,…

My mother was a physical therapist in a small Midwestern town in the 1950s. One of her patients was a lesbian with a committed partner. (Mother always spoke of their “lovely matching suits.”) After a few sessions, one gave her a tearful hug, because she was the only PT in town who would help or even touch her.

Not to mention that addressing her actual medical issue could go a long way toward softening public perceptions of the both of them. Betty Ford’s forthright battle with breast cancer and alcoholism not only put hush-hush issues into the public eye, it transformed her into a national icon. If Melania has a genuinely…

Well, what do you think Rogers was going to do/say? Especially as the host of a children’s program in the late 1960s? It’s actually remarkable that he kept him on. In the mid-70s, my middle school fired an openly gay teacher because parents complained. Being gay was incredibly difficult during that time; Rogers’…