Fellow Northern Midwesterner here. Fur stuff is shameful, terrible, etc. but damn, it keeps you warm. I was SO tempted by a fur muff with velveteen liner that the local thrift store had. Hell, I’d even wear one in the office on those days when they’ve cranked up the AC!

I attended a June wedding that had a Christmas theme, and the bridesmaids all had either red or green muffs. In June. (The bride was a massive Christmas fan - even got the church to bring out some of its decorations for the event. And yes, there were fresh-baked holiday cookies at the reception.)

I adored this book as a kid, mostly for Harriet’s independence and biting observations (not to mention that fascinating dumbwaiter and the cool grubbiness of NYC in those days). And its hard truths about consequences. Too many kid books (and movies) today end up in sparkly lessons about friends and teamwork and…

My dad was not a nice guy. He was married 4 times, and for good reason. He suffered from PTSD due to being dispatched to the South Pacific at the end of WWII at the age of 18, and woke up screaming at night. He was a recovered alcoholic, which means he still had some of the assholeness of a drunk without the…

My son was friends with a really gorgeous boy whose parents were from India - big, expressive eyes, thick black hair, golden brown skin. But when I met his mom, all she could talk about was my son’s white, freckled skin and ginger hair. She even wanted to know what kind of sunscreen he used - “because you don’t want…

I still don’t get why The tRump Show ends with that Stones tune. It’s dark and cynical - why do they think that resounds with that crowd? And it’s a British group known for the kind of lifestyle and behavior that doesn’t exactly mesh with the law-and-order tropes they like to cite. You’d think he could at least Buy…

How about instead of paying a fine, she’s ordered to give that amount to the general scholarship fund of the school she bamboozled? Give a chance to a low or middle-income applicant.

McCarthy has been an overrated lump for years. Frankly, I don’t begrudge Rodgers’ attitude toward him one damn bit. Here’s a guy who is an amazing quarterback, and he’s had to watch his prime playing years slip away while McCarthy recycles the same plays year after year (not to mention the fact that Rodgers has also ha…

Joe’s a great, thoughtful, articulate and funny guy, but I knew his handsy habit would come up if he joined the presidential race. Between the conservatives just DYING to drum up outrage to suit their own weaselly purposes and women who no longer want to put up with this stuff from any man - even loveable Uncle Joe -…

Not sure how you can stop a dog from barking, and I love the woggers, but it can be hella annoying.

He was absolutely insufferable on Real Housewives, and that says a lot. He did some kind of house concert and demanded complete quiet from the guests. It’s show tunes, dude. Show tunes. 

Well, her trysts (or whatever you want to call them) with Clinton ARE the reason for her fame and notoriety. It’s not like she was a Nobel Prize-winning physicist on top of it. 

My dad was obnoxiously conservative, and a Marine, but he HAAATTTED biker types, no matter what kind of motorcycle they drove. Wouldn’t even give the time of day to the “veterans” motorcycle clubs. Bunch goddam freaks, he called them.

Indeed, they do a lot of bar chewing. You give them a gross of toilet paper tubes, fancy wood toys, etc., and they’ll still chew on the bars. While the bar-type cages might seem “mean”, they do come in two and even three-story versions. And actually, it’s kind of a toss-up among “hamster fanciers” as to which kinds of…

My kid was second in his class, an Eagle Scout and all-around smart kid. But his handwriting is atrocious. It seriously looks like a 4th-grader’s. With a broken hand. Funny thing though - once he got to college and began to depend on notes he took in class, it’s remarkably improved.

We had a similar hamster cage, with all the tubes and extensions and happy fun toys. Smokey (and later, Freddy) escaped it on a regular basis, even muscling their way through the wire door (a binder clip made an effective latch). One of them made it all the way to the basement, where I found him 3 days later casually…

The first time my son wrestled against a girl, he thought it would be an easy win. He was wrong. Because they’re classed by weight, two pre-teens in the 80 lb division can be radically different in size. He was the shortest in his class but built like a little bulldog; she was skinnier but a good foot taller. One of…

Considering how really, really “full contact” wrestling can be (why is his head between the other guy’s legs?), it seems completely disingenuous to get weirded out by competing with a girl. 

Whenever I see some prolifer wail about Teh Baybeez and wave around a picture of a tyke in a headband to illustrate how a fetus looks at the moment of conception, I get the urge to send them a formal invitation to rummage through my used “feminine supplies” to make sure there aren’t any babies in there that I might…

Or just get one of those grilled sandwich maker appliances and no butter or oil is necessary. But plain ol’ orange sharp cheddar seems to go best with the basic tomato soup that evoked childhood memories. (Truth be told, Mom used velveeta and canned Campbell’s because it was cheap and the fastest way to quiet down…