I am assuming it will also have a speaker to play “It’s ok, I am only going to be a minute” when it parks across 3 handicapped spaces.

So by watching Audi and MB drivers it will learn how to park in multiple spots and forget about it’s turn signals?

I honestly don’t think anyone in that family is capable of shame, but here’s hoping

You don’t dismiss owners because there is literally no mechanism for doing so. The fact that he’s aware that he can’t get fired and is flaunting in the face of the team’s fans shows he’s just a sniveling little shit. Hopefully mommy and daddy take his toys away after he embarrasses them enough.

From his press conference:

This marks the first outing yet for these guys that they each got to catch something.

What is the acceptable response upon sighting Bieber in a club? You know some toady of his is going to tweet about how he was partying “with” you if they can get a picture of you. Do you run? Do you start punching anyone with a camera?

BECAUSE THE SEASON ISN’T OVER YET!!! YOU MUST BE FOCUSED TOWARD THE NEXT GOAL!! GREEN BAY IS THE ONLY THING THEY SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT!!!!

Because white people.

“McAdoo was asked if he would discipline the receivers for partying in Miami.” 

What do we want?!

Everybody knows you don’t work in Buffalo for the independence or the authority or the football or the ability to influence the direction of a team. You work in Buffalo to enjoy the weather.

It absolutely astounds me that after the worst Browns season ever, that they are still not the worst run franchise in the league. Close. But good lord.

As to who would take the HC job, two thoughts come to mind:

Guess who’s back (is broken).

Oh, SNAP!

Most Deadspin readers probably don’t know this, but Tom Scocca used to do a regular write up of newspaper comics with occasional Deadspin contributer Joe MacLeod for the Baltimore City Paper. It was awesome, but it doesn’t appear to be archived anywhere.

Honest question: he’s an asshole, right? For some reason I remember him always being a total douche on the field and generally being unlikable.

What the hell was Jay Cutler doing in Turkey???