Playable Ewoks, as a pre-order bonus, would a pretty killer April Fool’s joke.

Fair enough.

Oh hell yes! That would totally work for an A-Team game, where the equivalent of a headshot would be a burst sprayed ever-so-perfectly at the enemy’s feet.

Sure, but no one seems to understand that you can toss them. The only thrown weapons in the original trilogy are the Ewoks’ devastating bolos/rocks.

This is clearly from an alternate version of the SW universe, where grenades exist.

Yeah, with no explanation of who this guy is, and why we works there, it definitely seemed to imply that his job is “EA’s black friend.”

Hey, remember when Hoop Gawd made fun of that guy for being fat, or something?

Awesome. Who knows what it’ll play like, but between this and Cuphead, we’ve entered a brave new world of games that look like old cartoons. I’m a million times more interested in this weird development in graphics tech than more attempts at photorealism.

Well done. You definitely tricked me into watching about 5 minutes of terrible storytelling, punctuated by the rumbliest toughbro rumble voice this side of the intentionally-distorted Honest Trailers narrator, and lots of stupid sideboob shots.

But it doesn’t have to be. Even at its absolute worst, Mass Effect’s voice acting is better than any line in that trailer. The acting here is only passable if you’ve already had your expectations beaten into the ground by years of watching English-dubbed anime (with similarly wannabe-deep, dorm room drivel for…

Exactly. Like, dude, there’s a reason that’s a serious, standalone profession, and why film buffs often develop a boner for specific editors. Cutting-on-action at weird intervals isn’t artistic or interesting editing, especially if you still load it up with cliches, and end with the single biggest cliche in all of…

The lack of audience enthusiasm when he was introduced spoke volumes.

Amazing.

Yeah, I thought I recognized his voice from anime. I’m cringing at the thought of eventually trying to watch Robotech/Macross with my daughter. Some of those actors...

So is terrible voice acting part of MGS’s appeal?

I didn’t play through Halo 4, but I definitely lost interest when it changed hands. Especially given how awesome Reach was. Even though it was a prequel, it felt like the emotional climax of the series.

I know I’m probably in the minority, but I really just want as much old-school coverage—quick hits and longreads—as possible. Any fool can (and many will) flood social media with snippets of whatever. Let IGN crank out lame Vines of giggling dudes in T-shirts convincing each other that they’re funny. Kotaku’s strength…

So your one-item wish list is to see some grainy iPhone shots of a bunch of execs standing around, nervously sipping coconut water, and looking at their phones?

Honestly not trying to be a jerk here, but your lead sentence is perplexing me. I think you’re missing a word somewhere in there.

Really interesting. Is that sort of loophole common in Europe, in general (though to a lesser degree)?