These are masterful...I think I'd actually buy a coffee table version

Geez Washington, see what happens when people remember you exist again?

Welcome to the Marty Morninwheg Show!

~Every Eagles fan

Why would you waste a pick on the Raiders D?

Guess I wasn't the only one who watched CNN this morning.

I think they were done last week!

Man, so glad I threw ice at the 49ers bench...

Everyone else already made the hilarious cracks.

I wasn't bashing the guy who wrote this at all. I'm bashing this notion that a kid needs to have a TV and controller in their hands all day.

Give Your Kid A Book To Avoid Having a STUPID FUCKING KID

I just went through this last night. Hit it off with someone off match.com, and about 20 minutes in, she gets a text and says it's her daughter...which was definitely not something that had been brought up or mentioned on her profile. And then she explained that it was because she wanted people to get to know her…

Ugh...just got back from a date. Here's one to add - if you have kids, don't spring it on someone AT the date.

Just looked at the map. I'm living in Augusta, GA, and this is EXACTLY the type of place this guy wants to avoid. Divorced with two kids by the age of 22 seems to be par for the course here, and the REALLY weird thing is that they also account for about 80% of the attractive dating population. Also, it's a shithole.

Wow, you sound like a treat. I know just as many, if not more, women who wouldn't date a single dad.

lol, as a dude, I agree with everything you wrote, and that's actually a great profile that you posted. You get a great sense of personality out of it, but of course, you're a writer, so it's going to be easier for you to do that. I understand people hate writing those profiles, but nothing is more irritating on the…

I actually just had a similar revelation, after running in some regular ones from Target, and then buying running shorts from Under Armor (it was an outlet store, so it was only $10). And DAMN. So worth it.

Way to be a dickhead.

Um...the Foo Fighters?

Gonna Fly Now and Eye of the Tiger from the Rocky soundtrack are pretty awesome...ran my first half marathon while listening to the entire soundtrack nearly twice.

Bottles + puzzles = built in sobriety test