He had just met the squirrel and was taking a selfie without the squirrel's permission. He had it coming.

Squirrels were attacking people taking selfies, and police were confiscating stereos of people who played Celine Dion on repeat. It was as close to karmic justice as humanity ever got.

I will straight up KILL someone for licking me in the Walgreens.

I don't hate religious conservatives, I have some friends who are religious conservatives! But there's no need for them to flaunt their lifestyle choices in public and they should NOT be allowed to have children to indoctrinate.

If it's any consolation, there's probably some strange person writing slash fiction about them right about now.

As God's finger, don't you know for sure?!

I had to read that sentence 4 times to first understand it and then understand what he was getting at: "marriage is for procreation" would be the unstated warrant I would guess.

Seriously. Why do religious conservatives have to be so in-your-face with their sexuality? Can't they just be religious and conservative in private?

"but regarding men with men..."

Republicans spend an uncomfortable amount of time discussing anal. Like, a "should we leave you alone?" amount of time.

Conservatives and religious nuts should stop telling other people how and with whom to have sex. If they like to have heterosexual intercourse with their spouses once or twice a year without protection in the missionary position, that is completely fine, but they should stop telling everyone else to do the same.

You can't even brag about your super French husband "Steve".

The fetishes that involve hurting or destroying something seem to be held mostly by men (does not mean that *most* men have these preferences, but that these preferences are held mostly by men), and I feel like they are strongly linked to misogyny and rape culture.

From the linked article:

Just one question for those two:

It's been the most popular girl's name in the US and Canada for over a decade too (thanks, Friends). And yet, almost every couple I know planning to name their daughter that thinks it's cute and original. Congratulations, you're dooming her to be the Sarah/Sara/Sera of her generation. Remember how thrilled the five…

I'll take an Emma over an Apple, Uneeq, or Tiger Lilly any day of the week. Also saves me from being rudely 'corrected' that I'm spelling their name wrong (no, I'm spelling it properly, you just have terrible parents.)

Neither's Steve, which is my Parisien born-and-bred husband's name. Like, not even Stephan. His birth certificate just reads "Steve". WTF, in-laws?

I know so many fucking baby Emma's. It's called originality people!