it’s probably one of those super padded bras that could stop a bullet from VS

Ugh. The non-black person putting on an African-American accent for fun and profit just drives me nuts. It’s like this woman I know who travels to Ireland maybe one or two weeks a year and loves to put on the accent in front of every Irish person she meets. You can see the “please no” in their eyes.

My elementary school-aged daughter has decided that all traditional pants are “terrible” and “make my belly hurt” and will only wear elastic-waisted leggings/stretch pants/knits. She wants comfort as she tree-climbs, karate-kicks, and army-crawls her way through 1st Grade and I cannot blame her.

Imagine if this had been mentioned several times in the article you skimmed. Just imagine!

This used to happen to me all the time when I was single - I’d start dating someone, we’d hit it off, and then they’d suddenly go cold and break it off. It happened so frequently to the point where I thought there must be something horribly wrong with me. In retrospect, I think it might just be a modern dating…

And any guy who doesn’t want to work on it, is no guy to waste your time on.

e) Gay and trying to find the woman to “cure” them. Yes, in 2017, they still exist.

My two cents is that you have no idea what’s going on in his head. Maybe he’s not over a previous relationship, maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s got an intermittent and borderline apocalyptic threadworm infestation and he had to clench his arse cheeks the whole time you were having sex the last time in case they spooled out…

Ugh. I’ll go out on a limb and guess that a guy who breaks up with you because the sex wasn’t good the very first time that you did it is either: a) young, b) inexperienced, c) hung up on someone else, or d) some combination of these things.

Guess who has two thumbs and just got dumped!

You understand that Michael Caine is pretty much the James Earle Jones of England right?

The correct answer, BTW, is either James Earl Jones or Sam Elliott.

I feel like I’m the only person in the UK who feels like this, but I cannot stand Stephen Fry.

Surely not these angel food cakes: (5:00)

I’m a straight lady... and, well, who the hell doesn’t have a crush on Sue? It’d be weird if we didn’t.  

No, really you guys, it works. I’ve eaten every cake I’ve ever been in proximity to, and I’ve never once caught The Gay.

LONG LIVE SUE PERKINS!

Kind of falls down when the world’s most famous bakery show is/was hosted by a lesbian.

*clears throat* BULLSHIT!

He’s literally every white privileged male who throws a giant hissy fit when it turns out that the world isn’t actually all about him.