go tell some of the brown/black kids how you had it rough, too. you imbecile. 

okay i snorted @ this.

Chicagoan here! let’s just say that I lose interest in men pretty quickly after they tell me they were raised in Naperville/attended college there. no thnx, privileged bois. IRL swipe left.

can I get ungreyed? this is the only place I comment now!

TOMMMMYYYY. that brutally serious fella is my fave.

the complete and utter selective hearing of this post is making ME roll my eyes so much.

lol @ “journalism.” the scathing Hawt Taeks that this site publishes are so cringey. Obama isn’t president anymore, a literally orange neanderthal* is. THAT should be the most pressing issue, not a former president whipping votes for the Dems. 

thank you, lord, for this gift. HOW did I never hear about this? of course that standard model Hipster White Male Author™️ would think he had a chance with Natalie Portman. 

bc they, like Chabon/Waldman, are insufferable as hell.

CLEAR HAIR. I’m dead, you killed me.

they’re perfect for each other. as insufferable as the Neil Gaiman/Amanda Palmer pairing.

this just reminds me of when whatsherface, Ayelet Waldman, threw a Twitter fit about not being named the NYT’s best books of whichever year (2014?). it was *hilarious* and cringey.

my oldest, weirdest secret: i choreograph elaborate figure skating programs in my head when I listen to music. I cannot ice skate  

oooooh! ANY TIME I’m alone in a mirrored (or with reflective surfaces) elevator, I strike. a.  pose. as many times as I can before the elevator stops! 

I was gonna say, “I comment here! Been doing it for almost 5 years and nobody IRL knows!”

say the words and I’ll kneecap both of these broads idc how elderly they are. 

I look up pictures of handsome men and fantasize about reading newspaper and drinking coffee in pjs with them, preferably while they’re wearing glasses. Robert Pattinson is a favorite. 

I’m v stoned but also can’t sleep and I just yelled BRENDA! out loud after reading this so yay for you and Brenda.

this thread is so *pure* I cannot handle it. 

furreal. I don’t know where to go for political news anymore - NPR doesn’t deep dive enough for me (bc they want you to listen, but I can’t while I’m hosting @ a restaurant!) and Slate’s layout bothers me. I subscribed to The New Yorker but without the commentariat, it isn’t the same. where do I go? I will miss you…

he doesn’t get a parade for realizing his behavior was shitty. his awareness was in the negatives, and now it’s brought up to basic common sense.