i’m very late to this party! i dodge a lot of campaigners on these Chicago sidewalks, but i’m always so excited to stop and talk to the PP people and tell them that they get my money bi-monthly (i’m poor, okay?)

off topic, but since i asked for advice a looooong time ago and wonderful people came through, i figured i…

oooh how many did each kid earn?

holy. fuck.

i think it’s because 99% of us are a hard Yes with that one. charisma for daaaays.

see, i looooved Amy because she was just so horrifying. it was incredible to read. so awful, so compelling.

then he’s probably doing it to be “subversive” and show he’s not one to conform to celebrity ideals. barf. clean yourself up, jackass.

oh. oh ew.

i kind of forgot about that beautiful moment and how much life it gave me. like, chills of the schadenfreude sort.

i saw pillows on Etsy with “Miley, what’s good?” stitched on to them. i wonder if they’re still there...

bruh, exactly. she doesn’t prop herself up bc she doesn’t NEED to prop herself up.

the only thing not awful about that performance (other than the rise of Left Shark) was her shoes. those glittery wedge booties - i think about them almost weekly and i want them so bad.

she is so adorable and this is. so. accurate.

sweet baby jesus that man is sex on a stick. i am so psyched for Girl on the Train - not because it was a good book (it wasn’t), but because unghf Justin Theroux on a big screen. hell yeah.

i don’t know the context for this and i don’t need to.

i want her to rake him over the fucking coals. the only time i am ever this bloodthirsty is when i’m on my period and somebody eats my pasta.

i’m praying to the god i don’t believe in that that runny-orange-dysentery-in-human-form says something truly horrifying, so that there is no question of how awful he is.

but, sadly, i know that people will vote for him anyways.

got my Chipotle, a beer, and a strong stomach. let’s do this.

as a lifelong Dodgers fan (grew up in Los Angeles) now living 1/3 of a mile from Wrigleyville, that would be a dream. especially if Vin called it. and the Dodgers won.

no hate for the Cubs, per se, but goddamn getting on the train with their fans is taxing.

Rachel delivers some pure gold sex lines.

“you know, if it’s not against a headboard, it’s just not worth it.”
“and a guy’s THING is not called his ‘tenderness’ - believe me.”

“that’s one?”
“it’s a pretty important one!”
“oh...i was looking at it upside down”
“you know, sometimes that helps.”

Dusty Rose is the name of the hue of pink you can make with those little squeeze bottles of food coloring. i know this because i many batches of funfetti cupcakes with “dusty rose” colored frosting in college.