I don't have a lot of patience for someone who's 20-something and boasts about the hard work they did to bounce back. That's terrific, hon. Now try being 40 and doing the same. Because I assure you, I have worked my ass off - running 5ks, eating right, lifting weights - and yet, my ass has not actually been worked…

Thank you for this.

I have to work ridiculously hard to maintain a pre-baby body. Given the amount of effort it takes to maintain a shape I sort of like without hormones and uterine residents, I expect I will be one of those women who does not ever bounce back, no matter how much effort goes into it.

When I'm lumpy…

Oh honey. I'm loathe to promote you in some ways, but I'm promoting you because I actually don't think you're trolling: I think you think you are making sense.

Plus if they turn up to clinger level 12, if they know where you live they will always have the drop on you.

This would be funnier if someone hadn't asked me in all seriousness if I was going to charge him.

I'd rather kids be used as props than seen as expendable.

"I love it when people use children as props" ... isn't that EXACTLY WHAT THIS BILL IS DOING???? Using children to determine how much welfare the parents get? Putting the pressure on children? Disgusting.

I wish people who asked women the question "(when) are you having babies?" were suddenly whisked away by a mysterious agency and locked in a tiny white room for 24 hours whilst their most hated song played on an infinite loop at top volume. That is all I ask.

I can understand this. I get pretty sentimental about my uterine lining, too. That's why, for 10 days out of every month, I carry around a bag of my used tampons until such a time as I feel that those mystical tissues have completed their purpose in this world. Then, at the next sunset, I bury them in a shady spot in…

Hang on.

Are you touching yourself now?

Here's a trick, move next door to a deaf couple, you will soon find out the answer to your question.

My bedroom window faces an alley so I get sex noises from 3 different apartment complexes, pretty common occurrence actually. One day my husband said he was going to call and complain about the dog constantly whining at night across the alley, I was all huh? what dog? and then it hit me that I had just assumed it was…

The woman that lives above me listens to dubstep really loudly to drown out the sound of her sex screams. Its become kind of like how the smell of lemon air fresheners reminds me of shit now, as its used to cover up the smell of poo. Hearing dubstep reminds me of all the sex I'm not having.

Mirena (IUD with hormones) can stop periods or make them extremely light. I had a period the month after my insertion but none since. Paraguard (no hormones) can make periods last longer.

I've never done this, but I don't understand why it is necessary to berate people for trying something new in order to improve their lives. Admittedly, this is one of the lazier ways, but until all of our bosses start letting us use treadmills while we work people are going try and squeeze in their exercise while at…

I need this dress in my liiiiifeeeeeee, to quote my 13 year old cousin who is on facebook all damn day.

That's a split in the bottom of the blouse ;P

This is absolute size-ist BULLSHIT.

If one person's abs are OK out in the sun, then ALL persons abs are OK out in the sun. Fat people not your thing? Don't F'ing look. They have just as much of a right to have their stomach exposed as the next person, and they have every right not to be shamed by your myopic…

"I’m a firm believer that everyone should wear what makes them comfortable, but not if it makes ME feel uncomfortable."