I used to work for the tabloids, so it’s not a question of if I have a story, but which one I tell the Jezzies.
There was the time Dave Navaro refused to be interviewed unless I gave him a blow-job. He had just married Carmen Electra.
There was the time on a red carpet that a very drunk Gary Busey asked me how, a…

I hope your asshole writes a bestseller countering all of your dick’s accusations, and that the two of them become embroiled in a decades-long media feud.

Who at ESPN is going to talk about the Harden trade now??

Simmons showed me something with his reaction to that disaster story about the transgender doctor. He owned that fuckup from top to bottom and wrote one of the best apology columns ever. Whitlock would have waddled over women, children, dogs and gerbils to get out of the way of that.

In case any of the victims of the crimes I committed to go to prison are reading this, allow me to apologize and assure you that I am not ignorant of the damage I caused. I've been robbed myself; I know it is scary. You could not have known how unwilling I was to hurt anyone and it pains me to think that I even scared…

Guys, I know everyone's going to laugh and say that boy isn't a victim at all. But he is. He really is. He's now been high fived to death. Show some sensitivity.

Can't stand that look, or the tags and stickers still on it. What are they doing? Trying to preserve the resale value?

Like a houseguest. Marvelous at first and full of possibilities, but if left unsupervised for too long, they can be a real pain.

I'm a fully licensed pediatrician. Here's me with one of my favorite patients:

Still better value than Michael Bradley's transfer.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar blocked me in 2011 or so, even though I'd only @ replied to him once on Twitter in 2009, asking about jazz LPs (he did not respond, I think it was possibly my fifth tweet).

This tweet got me blocked by David Price, but then he unblocked me and accepted me for the troll that I am.

You know how athletes are idiots and retweet people who say things like "Hey my birthday would be the best I've ever had if I got a retweet from you?" or "It's been a tough week how bout a retweet?"

Not to be all generalizing here, but I find it odd that most of the men I've known are one extreme or the other. Either they want blackened shoe leather or still mooing. Several of my exes were the charred types. One was a vegetarian. Mr. Thirst is a carnivore—and I think part of the reason we have gotten along so…

As a resident of the great state of South Carolina—epicenter of the War of Northern Aggression—I must point out that Mr. Montgomery broke the first law of SC automobiling: minorities, especially imposing and colossal ones, have no place talking to police officers, especially dimwitted and…

I overheard my boyfriend and his friend talking in the kitchen one night and my bf's friend basically asked him if he missed banging other women (we've been together a long time) and my bf said, "nothing compares to a blowjob from someone who REALLY LOVES YOU MY FRIEND." He was pretty drunk but I thought the sentiment…

I draw the line at dry-humping.

Superman isn't boring. The problem is they almost always focus on the super boring stuff about him - so perfect, so strong, can't really be defeated except with a rock, etc. What I find interesting about Superman is that you have a being that is pretty much a god walking around among normal people. He sees how…