Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

You forgot step 5: “Verify bill is flat, crack open a 24 oz. Monster, and put on some Limp Bizkit.”

“The human body is like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted.”

In Atlanta they call that ‘the bottom of the first’.

Picture of Moon with missile in eye.

Oh that’s cool. Miguel Sano just broke a lady’s face in an actual game. She’s sitting 466 feet from home plate. http://mediadownloads.mlb.com/mlbam/mp4/2017/05/03/1345176783/1493774152612/asset_2500K.mp4

Come on, you guys are just making Machado about something.

Did somebody say Tranny?

That was the premise of a “Boondocks” episode a decade ago:

“Radio provocateur” sounds way cooler than what Alex Jones does.

Eating alone with a woman? HORRIFYING
Universal healthcare? TERRIFYING
The Gays? ABHORRENT

Donald Trump: [looks at approval ratings]

Five good guesses?

oh hey look, a garbage human being suing a bunch of other garbage human beings. we have shorthand for this:

“I never thought they’d eat MY face!”

She should Sioux!

Looking nice is for women. Men can look however they want as long as they can afford to buy nice-looking women as property. Read the constitution sometime, geez.

Donald Trump isn’t a billionaire and he doesn’t have a ton of cash. Only Duestche Bank will loan him money because he’s helping them launder it for the Russian mob. His properties are all probably being used as fronts. One in Soho already got busted for that exact reason. If he had a ton of liquidity, American banks…

They crossed out “wine” in the school Bibles. They now tell the story of Jesus turning water into juice.

Never forget.