Yeah yeah, show me the birth certificate.

Can’t

Seriously! Though I bought a second one on my spouse’s linked account and it went through.

Seriously! Though I bought a second one on my spouse’s linked account and it went through.

“Weigh your bowel movements using nothing more than the screen of your phone. Shittr: we’re innovating the future of health.”

Sold! Just wish they let you have more than one. I can tell you where mine will end up.

Sold! Just wish they let you have more than one. I can tell you where mine will end up.

You already know how it ends. What was the point?

Ugh, those are the WORST.

Not really a “fitness” thing on it’s own, but I’m tired of hearing from Water Polo bros how physically tough their sport is when we consistently suck at the Olympics and can’t even beat Montenegro. Montenegro sounds like a crayola color more than a country, and they still whipped us.

How did you not include the tough mudder/spartan race/warrior dash crowd? I’d say it would have to be pretty high on the list.

After watching the clean and jerk in the Olympics I don’t get how cross-fitters do such a technical and complex lift with proper form for a 2-minute AMRAP. They’re begging to blow out their shoulders, elbows, etc.

Literally, gone in 60 seconds.

So it doesn’t need gas, obviously!

Spoiler alert.

So what you’re saying is that all four Jalopnik editors told you to Chevette?

Luckily the Lee Greenwood halftime show happened anyway. Faces were melted.

First Law Of Takes: A take shall remain in effect until its retraction is demanded by a more powerful organization.

What are all the Laws of Takes? Are they like Newton’s Laws? If this is the first, what are the second and third?